It’s move in day and you’ve never been more excited to start a new chapter of your life and meet amazing, new friends. You know for a fact that you and your roommate will be the best of friends and never fight.
But a week into your first semester you can’t find the floor because it’s so messy and you fall asleep every night to her Facetiming her parents, complaining about everything.
For incoming freshman and anyone who is about to share a room with someone, here are 16 ways to not be the nightmare roommate.
1. Establish Boundaries Early
This will help make times when you are fighting much more bearable. If you two have a system in place already for chores, visitors, etc. it will make living together much easier.
2. Be Honest
If they are leaving their trash in your room for weeks at a time, maybe even making the hall smell, tell them that it is bothering you. Don’t be rude about it, unless they tell you to clean it up for them, then you can flip out. And if you catch them in a lie, which you probably will eventually, give them a chance to explain it. You never know what’s below the surface.
3. Respect Sleeping Patterns
There’s nothing worse than the roommate that wakes you up at 7 am every morning, except the roommate who hits snooze 10 times until they’re running around your room, waking you up in the process, to get to their 8 am on time. Waking up to your first alarm may seem like common sense, but for some people hitting snooze is just how they grew up. Be respectful if your roommate is sleeping. Keep a small desk light for late night activities and use headphones when she is sleeping. Don’t answer calls, blast Netflix, keep the lights on, etc. You will pay the price later on in the year.
4. Clean Up After Yourself
Living with someone who throws their clothes wherever they please, leaves dirty dishes in your bathroom, and refuses to clean the bathroom/room (ever) can be infuriating. When you know how to be a responsible adult and keep your space clean, living with someone who has no respect for this can drive you crazy. Don’t ignore messes you make hoping your roommate will clean up after you. Make sure that you are putting your part of the work in for chores (this includes cleaning the bathroom) and never make your roommate have to ask you to clean up after yourself; you are an adult.
5. Respect Your Roommates Needs
If your roommate pulls you aside and is honest about things that are bothering her, don’t just roll your eyes and ignore her. Take her words seriously and make some changes. Living with a roommate is all about compromise. If one person refuses to respect the boundaries and needs of the other, your living situation will become a nightmare.
6. Make Personal or Long Calls In Privacy
If you’re going to have a long or personal conversation with family or friends, don’t do it while your roommate is jamming to her favorite music or studying for an exam. Either make the call in a quiet area on campus or wait for a time when you have the room to yourself. It is beyond annoying to have to sit in your room, where you should feel safe, secure, and relaxed, and listen to your roommate drone on and on about her latest dramas.
7. Don’t Force Friendship
If you two don’t match up, don’t force it. Respect the fact that you may have different friend groups. Respect the fact that your roommate may never want to spend her free time with you. It is rare for freshman year roommates to stay friends so don’t feel left out. You’re not missing much.
8. Don’t Be Obnoxious
Know when to be respectful of “inside voices” and know when it is okay to get a little riled up. Don’t scream about random things just to be heard, you will give everyone around you a splitting migraine.
9. Don’t Take Advantage of Him/Her
Don’t ask your roommate to get you groceries or do your homework for you, it just isn’t fair. Making a long walk back from your “local” grocery store is a thousand times more miserable when you’re carrying groceries for two. And a full week’s worth of homework can become overwhelming when you’re writing a paper for your roommate.
10. Don’t Interrupt Him/Her
If they are obviously preoccupied with something, whether it be homework, studying, a Netflix show, or simply relaxing, leave them alone. This is not the time to ask for advice on your outfit, ask about the weather, or tell them stories. Respect the fact that your roommate is not at your disposal.
11. Don’t Lie About Being Okay With Something
If your roommate is nice enough to get your permission about a change they will be making, whether or no it affects you, don’t lie about your opinion. If you lie and they go through with this change you then have no right to complain about the way it affects you.
12. If You Need Something To Change, Speak Up
Your roommate can’t read your mind. And being passive aggressive about your issues will only make things worse. If you have a problem with the current system you two put in place, tell her. If she isn’t okay with your change, compromise to make both of your lives easier.
13. Don’t Lie About Money
If you’re broke you have every right to turn down an offer to go out. But if you secretly have $600 of spending money stowed away from the holidays and your excuse for not going out is “I can’t I’m too broke-” please stop. This drives people, who actually have a difficult time finding extra money to spend, crazy. Don’t be that person.
14. Be Aware Of Shared Space
Don’t take up the entire room with your piles of useless things. Respect the fact that you are both paying the same price to have access to the same amount of space. Don’t take up more space than you deserve under counters or in cabinets. It’s called shared space for a reason.
15. Respect Their Personal Belongings
Don’t go rifling through their stuff to find that candle you love so much or that top you just need to wear. Always ask before going through their things, it will save you a lot of unwanted drama.
16. Ask Before Having Overnight Guests
When you’ve just finished 5 hours of classes and a 7 hour shift at work, the last thing you want to come home to is your roommate and an overnight guest. Always ask beforehand, whether it’s for one night or the weekend. You will be thankful when the situation is reversed.
Living with new people can be scary, but with this list you can sleep soundly knowing you won’t be the monster roommate.