Whether you are procrastinating a summer-assignment, avoiding responsibilities at work, browsing the web before bed, or barely surviving another lengthy family function, this plethora of shower thoughts will keep you occupied.
1. Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay sounds super rad if you don't know what either of those things are.
Sounds like a nice place. Is it close to Cancun?
2. A bachelor party is more appropriate after a divorce, rather than before a wedding.
I feel like this isn't a thing specifically because it would get too out of hand.
3. I wonder if my dog always follows me into the bathroom when I have to go potty because I always follow him outside when he does, and he just thinks that's how it works.
Conditioning at it's finest.
4. Of all the bodily functions that could be contagious, thank god it's the yawn.
5. "Would you rather crash on a friend's couch or the freeway?" would be a good campaign slogan against drinking and driving.
This one should have been thought up ages ago. The people behind these campaigns are remarkably creative, and yet no one has come up with this?
6. The person who would proof read Hitler's speeches was a grammar Nazi.
And he probably thought he would never have a legacy...well-played Grammar Nazi, well played.
7. If you attempt to rob a bank, you won't have any trouble with rent/food bills for the next ten years, whether you are successful or not.
Well, when you put it like that...
8. Making fun of a fat person at the gym is like making fun of a homeless person at a job fair.
Have some respect for those trying to better themselves.
9. Why are wedding dresses bought and tuxedos rented? The utility of each is such that it should be the other way around.
Valid point. Wedding dresses are only worn once, when you could easily reuse the tuxedo.
10. "DO NOT TOUCH" would probably be a really unsettling thing to read in braille.
Whoops, too late.
11. The object of golf is to play the least amount of golf.
It's a game of efficiency...I guess?
12. When you're home alone, you're not afraid of being alone; you're scared of NOT being alone.
Someone could be lurking.
13. You could seriously piss off your neighbors by buying a puppy and naming it the same as their child.
"Jeremy, go potty."
14. "The Bachelor" is a show about a man dating multiple women at once that is primarily watched by women who hate men who date multiple women at once.
It makes perfect sense if you don't think about.
15. Letting your date uses your phone charger, even though you're at 25 percent, is the 21st century equivalent of putting your coat over a puddle.
This makes me sick.
16. The skeleton isn't inside you, you're the brain so you're inside the skeleton.
And that's your anatomy lesson for the day.
If you're in need of more shower thoughts, check out r/showerthoughts on Reddit. You're welcome.