Standing tall at 5’0, I hear endless jokes about my height all day. Here are the top 16 things I, and every other short girl, am tired of hearing.
1. “How’s the weather down there?”
Generic, yes, but you’d be surprised at how often I hear it.
2. “I can’t take you seriously when you’re mad, you’re just too cute!”
I’m not cute! I’m furious and you’re only making my rage grow deeper.
3. “How do you find clothes that fit you?”
Like everyone else? I go to the store, pick out what I want, pay, and leave. Sizes can certainly be a struggle - pants are too long, skirts go past your knees, and sleeves droop over your hands. Short girls tend to be pros at hemming and strategically finding clothes that fit their petite frames.
4. “You’re only 5 Subways long!”
This one is a new one, but I’ve heard it twice in the past week alone. It’s true. If you stacked five, $5 dollar foot-longs vertically, they would be just as tall as I am.
5. “Does it annoy you that you can’t reach the top cabinets?”
Yes. It annoys me, even more, when you ask this question.
6. *bends knees* “Look! I’m as tall as you!”
Haha. You’re hilarious. Did you think of that all by yourself?
7. “Your head doubles as an armrest.”
Please take your arm off of my head before I get mad.
8. “Take the middle seat, you’re the smallest.”
I always get the middle seat, can I please get shotgun for once?
9. “So are you a midget?”
No, two really short people decided to get married and reproduce, so here I am.
10. “You know short girls have the highest risk of dying in a car crash if they’re driving.”
I’ve been told a few times, but unfortunately, I have to drive.
11. “Airplane rides must be soooo nice for you!”
I actually can’t complain about this one. There’s always legroom for short girls on public transport.
12. “When you go to the movies how do you even see the film?”
I pray a tall person doesn’t sit in front of me. If they do, I’m screwed.
13. “You’re so short!”
Really? I had NO idea! Thanks for letting me in on this secret!
14. “Why do you sit so close to the steering wheel?”
My feet don’t reach the pedals.
15. *picks me up* “OMG you’re so cute!”
Please put me down immediately.
16. “Is life hard as a short girl?”
You couldn't even imagine.