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16 Stages Every New Fish Mom Goes Through Before Realizing Fish Don't Count As Pets

It's hard to connect with an animal that dies within the first three months.

Kelsey Dietrich

Jan 20, 2020

Bowling Green State University

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16 Stages Every New Fish Mom Goes Through Before Realizing Fish Don't Count As Pets

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At this stage in my life, I am not a pet person.

I do not yearn to have the responsibility of taking care of an animal, especially when I am hardly ever actually in my apartment due to school.

However, one day, I suddenly got the idea that I would like to have a fish as a pet. No, I would really like to have a fish as a pet.

Things did not play out as I anticipated.

Here are the 16 stages you go through when you are a new fish mom.

1. I really want a fish!

The initial thought...

2. Wow, there are so many beautiful fish to choose from!

The excitement browsing at the pet store...

3. Look at all the cool tank decorations!

The joy that you are filled with as you get to mix and match pebbles, statues, and fake plants to create the coolest environment for your new child...

4. This is it, this is my child!

The surrealness when you finally choose a fish...

5. It's how much?!

The shock when the cashier tells you the total...

6. I guess it will all be worth it. Kids are expensive!

The acceptance...

7. Everything fits so nicely inside!

The pleasure of setting up an aesthetic tank...

8. Why does my fish look like it's swimming into a wind tunnel?

The worry regarding the tank's filter...

9. He's just sitting in the corner.

The digust with reality...

10. All that money for this?

The regret of trying to be a pet mom...

11. So this is all it does?

The disappointment that occurs when the fish doesn't actually swim around the tank all day long...

12. He's dead already...

Just two days later.

13. Repeat items 1-11

I need to get a replacement fish because maybe this one was sick. Plus I need to get at least a little use out of this tank and decorations.

14. The second fish is doing much better!

See, I'm not a horrile mother!

15. Nevermind, the second one's dead too.

He lasted a good three months though. I count that as a win.

16. I'm done with this fish mom thing.

If anyone wants a fish tank and decorations, I've got one.

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16 Stages Every New Fish Mom Goes Through Before Realizing Fish Don't Count As Pets

It's hard to connect with an animal that dies within the first three months.

1. I really want a fish!

2. Wow, there are so many beautiful fish to choose from!

3. Look at all the cool tank decorations!

4. This is it, this is my child!

5. It's how much?!

6. I guess it will all be worth it. Kids are expensive!

7. Everything fits so nicely inside!

8. Why does my fish look like it's swimming into a wind tunnel?

9. He's just sitting in the corner.

10. All that money for this?

11. So this is all it does?

12. He's dead already...

13. Repeat items 1-11

14. The second fish is doing much better!

15. Nevermind, the second one's dead too.

16. I'm done with this fish mom thing.

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Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

1. My school is incredibly unique.

2. I am not just a number at my school.

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5. My professors know me and I feel that I can easily communicate with them.

6. The incredible people I've met

7. Opportunities

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10. I have figured out how I learn best because my school offers so many different ways of learning.

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2. Princess Bride

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7. ​Absolutely Anything (Robin William's Last Movie)​

8. Mrs. Doubtfire

9. To Kill a Mockingbird

10. A Few Good Men

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12. Dead Poet’s Society

13. Wizard of Oz

14. The Shining

15. Silence of the Lambs

16. Jaws

17. Casablanca

18. Singin’ in the Rain

19. E.T. Extra Terrestrial

20. Zootopia (basically all things Disney, except frozen)

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22. Gone With the Wind

23. Harry Potter (All of them)

24. Star Wars (All but Rogue One)

25. Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Arc

26. Die Hard

27. Titanic

28. It’s a Wonderful Life

29. Lord of the Rings (All three)

30. Airplane

31. Ghostbusters

32. Groundhog Day

33. A Clockwork Orange

34. The Terminator

35. Saving Private Ryan

36. Carrie (1976)

37. Pulp Fiction

38. Sixth Sense

39. The Matrix

40. West Side Story

41. Fight Club

42. Shaun of the Dead

43. Hot Fuzz

44. Forrest Gump

45. Monty Python and the Holy Grail

46. Back to the Future

47. The Breakfast Club

48. Mean Girls

49. The Sandlot

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7. Absolutely Anything (Robin William's Last Movie)