1. There will never be a Mexican restaurant like Los Amigos.

"Oh I'm sure its good but we have El Nopal and Senor Iguanas!" Ok but their cheese dip isn't right, I don't want my chicken shredded, and I'm sorry it just isn't and never will be Los.

2. Boutiques...boutiques everywhere.

I wish someone would figure out how many boutiques per square foot Paducah has because I'm not sure of the real number but I think its somewhere around too many. All selling the same bow shirts and bubble necklace's for the low price of $200.00

3. Having everything monogrammed just in case someone forgets your initials.

Because who doesn't need a monogrammed purse? And backpack? And pencil case? And shirt? And glasses case? And raincoat? And phone case? And earrings?

4. Oh it's your birthday? Congrats! Your options are Italian Grill and Jasmines.

Equally as fancy, and both classy. Sushi or pasta, you decide buddy, it's your big day.

5. All the moms that grew up together and now live vicariously through their daughters.

No, your Facebook should definitely only be pictures of your high school daughter, its totally normal. Post EVERY award they receive and every football game they attend, we're all dying to hear about it.

6. That feeling you get when you drive by what used to be Pasta House.

This still stings for some people...most people. Everyone.

7. Driving around the park because seriously there is nothing open after 9pm.

Ever heard of a CVS that isn't 24 hours? It's in Paducah!

8. It's still Super Value...sorry Banks.

It's been years and I still haven't called it Banks on the first try yet. And downtown, it's still Super Value not Cash Saver.

9. Is the Kentucky Oaks Mall even considered a mall anymore?

Every time I go in there, two more stores have closed. But thankful for that giant Victoria Secret now because that's definitely necessary...RIP Gap, Wet Seal, Aeropostale, UniversiTEES, The Village, Tuscanies, and RadioShack.

10. Heath is for the country bumpkins, Lone Oak is the snobs, and Reidland...has a Food Giant?

No mega school can stop this stereotype. NOTHING.

11. BBQ on the river is a national holiday.

I honestly made sure I was in town for BBQ on the river and barely made it home for Christmas. It's that serious. Where else can you get BBQ, fried pickles, fried oreos, ribbon fries, and funnel cake all in the same night except in Heaven?

12. Going to Patti's is a big event.

You have to make your Valentines Day reservations MONTHS in advance. Because nothing says, "I love you," quite like flower pot bread. And there's a waterwheel...that just screams romance AND class.

13. "My dentist is so cool they give out COOKIES."

Calm down, Billy. He's an orthodontist and you'll probably have braces for three years.

14. Not everyone is a redneck, there's the hipster's at Etc.

You can drive through the entirety of Paducah and start at a confederate flag and end up at Etc. with the Gay Pride flag. What a contrast.

15. And Hell hath no fury quite like Quilt Week.

Say what you want about, "We'll never understand Spring Break or New York traffic" but our population literally doubles for a week. And it isn't even for a fun-filled week, it's just a lot of quilters. And everyone hates their life.

God bless you Paducah, Quilt Capitol USA. Thank you for providing me with good Mexican food and a new appreciation for a town that has more than one bowling alley and more than one movie theater. Thank you for making me sound like the town's population is 200 to my friends in my new town. Thanks for Kirchoff's, barbecue, and Pizza Inn. Thanks for all the overpriced boutique clothes and many memories of driving down random back roads because we were all too bored to do anything else. Sometimes I really do miss you.