These 15 Things Matter More To Me Than Being Pretty
Start writing a post
Community

These 15 Things Matter More To Me Than Being Pretty

Because looks can be gone in a second.

165
These 15 Things Matter More To Me Than Being Pretty
Lovianna Blackwell

After a lot of soul searching and alone time, I've discovered that I feel so much better about myself when I'm not putting pressure on myself to look a certain way. I have just as much confidence on a day where I don't necessarily feel pretty as I would when I get all dressed up. I used to really base how my day would go how I would feel on my physical appearance, then thankfully I got some clarity. "Pretty" is so subjective anyway, so chasing it leads to a dead end every time. It's not that I don't occasionally put in extra effort to improve my appearance, it's just that I don't feel any less myself when it's not a part of my routine.

Because more often now, I'm working on things that are more definite. I'm not perfect, but I do try to be mindful of what's most important. And for me, that's 20 key things to focus on. Just like anyone else, I slip up and get moody or snappy or impatient, but I'm learning.

1. Forgiveness

I'm good at holding grudges and cutting people off. I've been petty and bitter. But it's shocking how weighing a chip can be on your shoulder. Forgiveness feels better 100% of the time. It is hard sometimes and it may take a while to find it, but it's easier to learn from it than anger and bitterness.

2. Patience

Of all the things we have to learn and are expected to achieve, patience may be the most difficult. In a time where everything is so immediate and continuous, it's easy to want everything to happen and come to us right away. Sometimes life gets in the way or things take their sweet time and that's okay. Our outlooks are the only things that can change. But instead of waiting for a rainbow, we can choose to play in the rain. Make the most of what we do have, rather than waiting on what we don't to appear.

3. Acceptance

Whether it means accepting defeat, accepting that not everything can last forever, or accepting a certain kind of love, it's all important. It's a lot like forgiveness, where the alternative just doesn't feel as nice. Just being able to say "it is what it is" takes a lot of weight off. There are certain things we can't change so we just have to accept it and move on. And if it's something that can be changed or fixed, then fix it.

4. Accountability

Admitting to our mistakes and owning up to what we messed up is a big step in becoming a respectable person. It's all part of understanding we can't be perfect so that we can learn for next time when we're lucky enough to get a next time. Even if it's just admitting it to ourselves where we went wrong, it's something. It can be a simple fix for something broken.

5. Vulnerability

Wearing my heart on my sleeve and being open to life outside of my comfort zone is something so important to me. I haven't fully achieved vulnerability because it means throwing logic out the window, and that can be scary. It requires us to expose our emotions instead of concealing them and comes from trusting in something just because our hearts want us to.

6. Fearlessness

Fearlessness goes hand in hand with vulnerability in my eyes. Fearlessness is the ability to have fears, and live in spite of them. The idea of accepting the inevitable and dealing with it, rather than hiding in a corner waiting for it to go away while life passes you by. It's letting love in when it scares you or losing someone you love and moving on. Fear can take so much away and prevent us from growing into who we're supposed to be.

7. Open-mindedness

This is the most important thing to me, personally. I'm always looking to see all sides of everything. I want every option, every detail, all the sides of every story. If it's within reason, I want to support whatever someone believes in for the sole purpose that they believe in it. I'm a big fan of individuality and letting people make their own way. If everyone was the same and did everything the same way, life would suck. So to make things more exciting, we can open our minds up to change

8. Passion

Chasing passion is the only way to successfully find what will make our hearts happy, and then everything else we need comes along the way. It takes some risks, but passion is the one thing we can work toward that won't go away, which is why it's so important. Money and vanity and anything material can fade or completely disappear. But even when our passions change, it'll always be something we can hold onto.

9. Dreaming big

Trusting that anything is possible can be the best way to stay motivated. I remind myself that no dream is too big, if I'm willing to entertain the idea. Dreams are just goals with some imagination sprinkled in with it. People will be condescending and doubtful when they think what you want is impossible or pathetic, but the pursuit of dreams is supposed to be entirely self-fulfilling so it doesn't matter.

10. Health

It shouldn't really have to be said that overall health trumps appearance. Emotional, mental, and physical health are all so much more important than being pretty. Looking great doesn't matter if I don't feel great. Becoming a certain shape does more harm than good if it isn't being achieved in a way that's safe. Risking health to keep up appearances may not come with consequences immediately, but it may later.

11. Humor

Laughter is the best thing in the world. Being able to laugh about my shortcomings, or letting out a little giggle at life's hilarities, or cackling with my friends until my face and stomach hurt are all blessings. I never want to get so in my head that I can't just step back and find some humor in something. It saves a lot of frustration and anxiety.

12. Faith

Faith is important because it has the ability to take away a lot of stress. It doesn't have to mean believing in the gods if that isn't something everyone wants to do. But putting trust in a higher power, a force of nature, or just in the universe can take a lot of weight off.

13. Youthfulness

Everyone can learn something from the innocence of the youth. Young people have so much to believe in and there's so much light in their eyes. There's a beauty in how accepting and trusting they are. No knowledge of hate so no grudges to be held. That isn't something that has to go away, but maturity tends to come with so much bitterness. We can stay excited and thrilled and wonderstruck as long as we choose.

14. Comfort in solitude

Only boring people get bored. The ability to enjoy your own company is a superpower. It's how you really get to understand yourself. And it makes it easier to figure out what good company is really like because you can finally realize who makes you feel like you'd rather be alone than in their presence.

15. Growth

There is beauty in allowing knowledge to be neverending. Something can be learned from everything and the ability to make a lesson of anything comes with much reward. All of life can be a journey with an open mind and an open heart.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Swoon

23 Pandemic-Approved Date Ideas That'll Send Sparks Flying From Six Feet Apart

There's a safe way to date right now and yes, it includes masks.

189827

While some people would rather opt out of dating altogether during the pandemic so they don't have to wear a mask on a first date, others are choosing to listen to both guidelines and their heart in order to find love during the time of coronavirus (COVID-19).

Should you be one of the individuals welcoming romance right now, there are pandemic-approved dates you can go on that still adhere to guidelines (and yes, you'll have to wear a mask).

Keep Reading... Show less

I didn't believe the notification when it came through to my phone: Ruth Bader Ginsburg had died from complications due to cancer.

Keep Reading... Show less

In our patriarchal society, men hide from their feelings, but toxic masculinity is literally killing men. They swallow the pain and move on so that they can look, feel, and act "tough."

But, strength is derived from asking for help and voicing your struggle and, trust me, working on your mental health is one hell of a struggle. The real way to "man up" is to acknowledge the downfalls in unjust societal norms. Mental health problems do not mean that a man is weak, they are neurologically-based disorders that require professional treatment.

Keep Reading... Show less
Swoon

11 Things Your Boyfriend Should Do Before He Drops $499 On A PS5

Let's start with spending less time gaming and more time with you.

15357

Scrolling through Twitter this week had me rolling on the floor laughing as I read some of the hilarious tweets from ladies who, whether in a relationship or not, shared reactions to the news that PlayStation 5 is on its way

As this "buy your boyfriend a PS5" joke takes off across the internet, let's just say, there are a few things your BF should be doing before dropping $499 on the new gaming system — or, if the tweets are real for some, before you buy it for him as a gift.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

Sorry, But 'I Don’t Care About Politics' Is Not A Valid Excuse For NOT Voting

The younger generation of voters is so crucial to the upcoming election because our vote is going to shape the world that we are about to enter as adults.

38026

When I ask my friends if they are voting this term most of them respond with "no" followed by an explanation of "I don't care enough," "It doesn't affect me," or "I don't keep up with politics," etc. I get it, as a college student I know that there are many other things to be concerned about like school, relationships, work, and friends. I also understand that keeping up with politics can seem like trying to keep up with an over-exaggerated reality show that has way too many seasons. Not to mention most news stations and websites are biased so it's hard to decipher if what you hear is true or fake.

However, despite all of this annoyance, as the next generation of Americans, we have to remember that we owe it to ourselves, our families, and to our futures to care.

Keep Reading... Show less
Tasia Sli

Tasia Sli and Anna Yang met in quintessential New York fashion at a chic rooftop event, inquisitive Yale grad Anna gravitating towards model/entrepreneur Tasia.

Keep Reading... Show less
Photo by Anna Hernández-Buces

"Do you have big parties on Cinco de Mayo?"

Keep Reading... Show less

Two of my favorite things in life are reading and books. Obviously, they go hand-in-hand. In my life, I've realized that there is nothing better than learning about the current world or getting fully immersed in another world. Reading can inspire, teach, and entertain you.

For me, the feeling of opening a book and smelling that fresh book smell can't compete with anything else.

Keep Reading... Show less

Expecting mother and wife to singer/songwriter John Legend may have accidentally slipped up and revealed the gender of her and Legend's third baby today on her Instagram story.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

20 Books About Latin And Hispanic Heritage Absolutely Everyone Should Have On Their Bookshelf

Any ally of the community needs to be reading these incredible reads.

10665

I go through phases when it comes to what I like to read. I am typically reading two books at any given time: one serious nonfiction and one escapist fiction novel to have on hand and open up depending on my mood.

What remains consistent, however, amongst most of my fellow bibliophiles is a desire to try new and different authors and genres. I, as an Indian woman, have been partial to reading books written by fellow Indian and Desi writers since I first got a library card.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Asked 46 Women What They Thought About The Term 'Plus-Size', And Here's What They Had To Say

It's 2020, where change is inevitable and norms are not only questioned, but challenged.

6156

We live in a world where it's become customary to push boundaries, break rules, and question standards upheld by society. Though try as we might, some of these standards are harder to conquer than others — body image is one of the top contenders.

For years, the body positivity movement has pushed for the acceptance of all marginalized body types not represented or celebrated in the media. Recently, we've gotten better at appreciating and accepting all body types, but one thing that's still lingering is the stigma of body image in the fashion industry — more specifically, the term "plus-size."

Keep Reading... Show less
Netflix

Many popular TV shows are holding off premiers until spring, so most people are relying on their television subscriptions to get them through a socially distant fall semester.

Thankfully, Netflix was busy filming this past year because there is a ton of new original content coming in the near future. From mysteries to romances, here are some of the best new shows you have to check out this year:

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

Taylor Swift Sang 'betty' At The ACMs And It Was The Perfect First Live 'folklore' Performance

I guarantee that Inez is spreading rumors about how fire this performance was.

4969
CBS

The Academy of Country Music Awards were last night and the performances were wonderful, but Taylor Swift's live version of "betty" from her newest album "folklore" really took the cake for me.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

9 Reasons I Unfollowed All The Fitness Influencers On My Instagram Feed

I don't need to feel bad about myself because of who I follow on social media.

3752

Throughout quarantine, something that a lot of us picked up on was working out. With all the free time, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to work on that "dream bod" you've been wanting for years, or to just feel good about yourself.

A common way to stay motivated and keep yourself on-task is to follow fitness influencers on various platforms. For some people, yes, this can be a healthy and helpful way to keep your drive. In other cases, however, this can do more harm than good.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments