1. "So, I guess you don't want to make a lot of money?"
I guess you don't want to mind your own business. But to answer your question, you can't put a price tag on passion.
2. "So do you love Shakespeare?"
Yes. But believe it or not, there is a lot more to English than reading "Hamlet" in AP Lit.
3. "I read "The Great Gatsby" in high school and liked it, so I thought about being an English major!"
I'm sure you're a Fitzgerald scholar by now. Along with all other English majors, I am glad you reconsidered.
4. "Ew. I hate writing."
Good thing you'll never have to do it! E-mails, business letters, reports...
5. "I don't have time for all that."
Of course. I picked English because I just wasn't sure what else could fill up my free time! For the record, I don't have time for your major or your questions.
6. "It must be so much easier to write an essay than take an exam."
Definitely. One hour, five essay questions, and you need textual evidence... no biggie or anything.
7. "English is too depressing."
English is so much more than morbid poems or stories. English is about humanity, and if you think that humanity is depressing, you should be a clinical psych major.
8. "I just wanted to major in something more practical."
Because the language you use is totally impractical.
9. "I just feel like it's an easy major, you know? Everyone can read!"
First of all: not easy. Not everyone can analyze, not everyone can write, and not everyone can think on a deeper and subjective level. It just so happens that we can. #sorrynotsorry
10. "My parents would have been so mad!"
Unfortunately, not all parents support you majoring in your passion, but I'm lucky enough that mine do.
11. "I write poetry for fun!"
If you were serious about poetry, it probably wouldn't be fun.
12. "I know my grammar isn't good, but it's okay, because I'm not an English major."
Do you really think that using incorrect grammar during a job interview is going to impress someone?
13. "What are you going to do with that?"
I don't know, write? Teach? Journalism? Law? Be a doctor? Psychology? Marine biologist? English sets you up pretty nicely to pursue lots of different options, so don't look at me like I have no skill set.
14. "You don't sound like an English major."
I'm sorry, how does an English major sound? Are you surprised that I don't sound like I walked out of 16th century England? We speak the same way as anyone else (but with better grammar, of course).
15. "Can you edit my paper for me?"
Because I'm totally interested in doing you a favor after all that.