Being an English major means constant readings, a lot of essays, many discussions inside and outside of the classroom, and perhaps even a decisive love for your personal favorite writer. However, being an English major has its own very unique set of standards, problems, and quirks. If you are an English major, I sympathize with you for these reasons.
1. You have back problems from carrying so many books.
What even is a book bag? Oh, you mean this massive backpack I'm carrying...
2. Your idea of a "party" includes a blanket and a book.
I like big books and I cannot lie.
3. You don't even know why you have a bed. The library is your bed.
The library will always be there for you. For better and for worse. In sickness and in health.
4. You have learned the formula for writing the World's Best Paper.
It's as simple as introduction, procrastinate. Main points, procrastinate some more. Conclusion, turn it in with 30 seconds to spare. Forget to edit.
5. You correct grammar mistakes impulsively.
Correcting grammar like a boss. Receiving mixed responses from friends who don't care.
6. You make puns that make your friends groan.
"I'm so Donne with this conversation."
7. You occasionally just give up trying to explain your references.
When someone asks you "where's that from," you just sigh...
8. You understand the difference between analyzing and overanalyzing.
Umm... sometimes the curtains really are just blue...
9. Your bookshelf looks like this. Or worse.
Books on the floor, books on the tables, books on the shelves, books on books...
10. You've run into inanimate objects because you were reading instead of paying attention.
Nose in a book isn't just a cliche. It's a way of life.
11. You have deep emotional connections with fictional characters.
One word can still bring you to tears after all this time...
12. Despite piles of readings, you still manage to read. For fun.
It still baffles you what other people do in their spare time...
13. You've been asked a hundred times, "So... Do you want to teach?"
Umm, not really, no, but thanks for asking...again.
14. Or "What are you going to DO with that major?"
I don't know...Maybe lead a country? No big deal.
15. But you know, at the end of the day, English majors are the best!
Because you know you're fabulous and your grammar is on point.