When I first started my summer job at an ice cream stand I was pretty excited, mainly because of my deep love and devotion to ice cream. But also because it seemed like a fun, stress-free summer job. Give people some ice cream, make them happy and eat ice cream all day. What could ever be stressful or annoying about that job? The answer: the constant questions from customers.
1. What's the difference between a sugar and regular cone?
Let me tell ya: one tastes stale and the other tastes more stale.
2. Can I try the cookie dough?
You're trying to tell me you've never tasted cookie dough before, nice try Jim.
3. Could I also try the mint chocolate chip and the butter pecan, oh, and the strawberry?
Sure, I'll give you the samples but when you order vanilla just know that I will roll my eyes when I turn to go scoop your ice cream.
4. Is there any way that I could get a half scoop of this and a half scoop of this?Ah, no.
5. Could I have chocolate ice cream?
Is that all the information you're gonna give me? No size, no cone or dish specification?
6. Can I have a hot fudge sundae?
Again, I can't read your mind. Use. Your. Words.
7. Could I actually get sprinkles on that?
Actually, you can't. You already paid, it's an extra charge and there is a line behind you.
8. What's in the vanilla?
Uhh, vanilla.
9. Do you know how many calories are in the cotton candy ice cream?
That's a negative, but what I do know is that if you're counting your calories you probably shouldn't be getting ice cream.
10. Can I have it in a cone but upside down in a dish? But I don't want you to scoop it in the dish I want you to scoop it in the cone.
You're going to get the same amount of ice cream either way and I can promise you it'll taste the exact same. It's going to save us both time if I just put it in the dish.
11. Could I get all these 12 orders to go?
This is an ice cream stand, not a drive thru. Eat it here or go to Dairy Queen.
12. Can I have three (or more) scoops of ice scream on a sugar cone... with sprinkles?
OK, one, how can you eat that much ice cream before it melts? And two, this defies all of Newton's Law of gravity.
13. Why have your prices gone up?
I don't know Jane, why do you keep coming if you keep complaining about how much it's costing you?
14. Can I place my order on the phone and come pick it up?
No, ice cream cannot be scooped or a sundae cannot be made in advanced. Get in line and wait or come back at a time when it's not busy.
Don't get me wrong, I love my job. But man, after hearing these questions and having these demands during every shift, it makes you want to start scooping your eyes out. Good thing we got plenty of scoops.