College humor is truly…unique. It’s fatalistic and comes from a healthy dose of both desperation and sleep-deprivation. It comes from both professors and students alike and it’s hard not to spit-take when you hear a college student make a ridiculous joke. Sometimes the things we do aren’t even meant to be jokes; they just come out funny in some strange way, warranting the immediate “lmao me” reaction.

I’ve kind of become obsessed with capturing these weird humor moments ever since I did a piece last semester called “14 Times Our Professors Kept Us Entertained In Class.” Since I’ve entered college, I’ve been randomly jotting down these moments in the margins of my notebook as they happen: the professor says something wild and the entire class breaks out in hysterics and it basically becomes a meme for the rest of the semester. I’ve recently expanded where I look for these moments, because they come not only from professors but from passing conversations in the hallways and cafeterias – though of course student humor is significantly more defeatist and depressing. Nevertheless, it keeps us well-entertained and we all know that if we don’t keep laughing, we’ll 100 percent start loudly sobbing in the street.

1. Professor: “I’m hot but not hot enough to produce my own light” *snickers*

2. *Walks in circles around the projector, rotating. Continues lecturing.*

3. (About Trump) “He’s my own personal Voldemort.”

4. “You don’t say fuck in polite society….until your teacher says it first.”

5. “I’ve seen a whale shark…which is not an actual whale.”

6. “I don’t know if Ishmael (protagonist from "Moby Dick") ever really becomes Lady Gaga…”

7. “In this classroom…where we talk about feelings….or I make dick jokes, whatever we do here.”

8. (Fully grown male professor) *mocking voice* “I’m kinda a slut.”

9. “I remember reading Dracula and being like ‘OK, get ready for the sex.’”

10. “It’s an early American best-seller because it’s kind of a trashy novel.”

11. Professor: “OK, but that’s not what a fuckboy is.”

12. *Professor comes in with a bottle of cherry seltzer* “Does anyone want this? I pressed the wrong button.”

13. Student 1: “How you doing, how you holding up?” Student 2: *weak chuckle*

14. Student 1: “How’d you finish last semester?” *pregnant pause* Student 2: “Well, I mean, I finished.”