13 Reasons Not To Go To The Movies On A First Date
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Politics and Activism

13 Reasons Not To Go To The Movies On A First Date

First dates are hard, let us help you.

Erika Schwartz
Jun 20, 2016
Wayne State College
7
13 Reasons Not To Go To The Movies On A First Date
Erika Schwartz

First dates are hard, let me help you.

1. He will feel obligated to buy you popcorn and a drink and then you will either A. have to pee half-way through the feature, or B. you will feel as if you’re dying of thirst while trying to keep your cool of course.

2. You won’t be able to actually tell if date is actually ugly or not.

3. He won’t be able to tell if you’re actually ugly or not.

4. Your date could potentially fall asleep during said rendezvous. Especially if he works nights and especially if his name is Alex.

5. You won’t actually even spend much time watching the movie because you will be more focused on whether or not he is going to grab your hand and begging your hand sweat glands PLEASE DO NOT ACTIVATE.

6. You will spend most of your energy strategically trying NOT to touch him in any way, shape, or form.

7. Until he does, in fact, grab your hand and then it will feel like not enough inches of your skin are in contact with his.

8. You still have no idea what is happening in the movie.

9. IS HIS HAND REALLY ON MY KNEE?

10. He will definitely try to play old school footsie with you.

11. You will stay in the theatre long after the credits have rolled (you still either have to pee or are nearing dehydration) waiting for him to kiss you.

12. He definitely won’t kiss you in the theatre. Coward.

13. He will eventually see you in the daylight, and in fact decide that you’re ugly, and won’t call again.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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