I do not have a normal noggin.
Granted, this is something I've always known (and I'm sure other people came to realize this as well). However, what makes this breaking news special is that I now realize that this isn't something to be ashamed of, but something to be grateful and blessed to have.
You may be wondering what exactly is an "abnormal" brain (aka noggin) is, which is a completely valid question. In a general sense, an "abnormal" brain is affected by conditions causing disordered behaviors and/or thoughts and their processing. Basically, mental illnesses. And for me, my brain happens to be affected by ADHD, which I learned only one year ago.
Being 18 and diagnosed with ADHD really threw me down a tightening and never-ending spiral. Honestly, it was like an out-of-body experience for awhile; I didn't know who I was anymore. My brain and body were disconnected from each other, and I fell so unbelievably out of love with myself, physically and mentally. Looking back on it now, I think this happened because I accepted the stigma that society places on people with ADHD: defective.
I woke up every day, looked in the mirror, and I saw a defective human. I saw someone that I assumed others would want to toss away, return to the cuckoo nest because they couldn't function within societal norms. For all of my other ADHDers, let me tell you something: this stigma is BULLSH*T.
Repeat me and SHOUT it for everyone else to hear, for you yourself to hear:
I AM NOT DEFECTIVE. I AM WONDERFUL AND WORTHY OF THIS LIFE.
If you're still unsure, let me give you 13 reasons why I LOVE having ADHD and why it makes me and all my ADHDers WONDERFUL AND WORTHY.
1. Incognito superpower
I know it sounds dumb, but it is totally true. Who else has a brain that is constantly moving with thoughts and ideas?! This constant motion lets your brain come up with unheard-of, extremely out-of-the-box thoughts that most people otherwise would not be able to come up with. I don't know about you, but I love having this ability.
Often, positivity will be equated with happiness, but this couldn't be further from the truth: positivity is a choice, and happiness is not. In other words, being positive is remembering that there is always light beyond the darkness. With ADHD being a rough battle filled with ups and downs, I can guarantee you that anyone with ADHD can help you find the good in everything.
Honestly, this is one of my favorite things about ADHD. If I find a subject or task I truly care about and/or I'm passionate about, I can concentrate on it deeper and more intensely than others for hours on end. Before I know it, hours have passed, but they felt like minutes.
When I find something I care about, I don't "slightly" care or "averagely" care. It withholds my strongest emotions, which allows me to give everything I have and more to it.
5. Interesting and lively conversations
With a brain that operates like a pinball machine, my train of thought can change direction in a millisecond. In one moment, I could be talking about the true meaning of life. Then two minutes later I'll ask if farts can be sucked out of the air with a vacuum. While it may be weird, the conversation definitely doesn't die out, I can tell you that much.
ADHD gives me the ability and creativity to vividly place myself into someone's situation with an open mind. I may not know exactly how the situation feels, but I can understand how it could feel. I want to be able to share unconditional love with everyone I can, no matter the situation.
I find it easier to help others with their issues rather than my own. I've come to figure out that this is because I can hyperfocus on other people's issues, but I can't do that with my own since my thoughts are everywhere. Being able to hyperfocus allows me to give my all to that person and completely forget about myself in the moment.
This closely relates to hyperfocusing in the sense that when I start a task or pursue a subject, I will do everything I can to see it through to the end. Giving up is not an option.
9. Big Picture
Some people get lost in the big picture of things because of the chaos within it; they don't like that there isn't just one thing to focus on. For me, however, I have more of a broad focus. I can focus on multiple things at once, which allows me to make sense of all the tiny details intertwining and intersecting each other.
10. Chaos is order
This is pretty similar to the big picture and compassion. Since I can focus on multiple things within the chaos, I can make sense of it, or find the order within it. Additionally, I function better in chaos rather than order because chaos moves at the speed of my thoughts.
11. Dreams = Reality
With my determination and passion, there isn't a single dream I feel cannot be a reality. Basically, I feel like everything is possible.
I can't think of a time where my brain has stopped moving. Ever. Not once. But because of this, I can come up with some really creative ideas and concepts that other people wouldn't be able to.
Perhaps one of my absolute favorite things about having ADHD is that I am really good at making witty comments in a conversation. My pinball machine brain makes me "quick on my feet" and lets me think of funny comments to add to a casual conversation.