12 Things All Shy People Want You To Know

12 Things All Shy People Want You To Know

As told by a certified shy person.
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The other day, I intentionally laid in a vegetative state to avoid human contact. The Thanksgiving interactions, along with those that had transpired throughout the semester, left me exhausted. The weight of day-to-day socialization finally came crashing down, serving as motivation to cease the "Hi's" and "How are you's" for 24 hours. I was at my wits end.

But you wouldn't know that if you saw me at the mall, facilitating a conversation with an acquaintance or friend. You wouldn't know that 60% of the time, anxiety pulsates in unison with my rapidly beating heart in the midst of listening to stories about your college experience.

More often than not, I muster all my internal strength to be outgoing and put myself out there on a pedestal even when my true desire is to remain in a solitary cocoon. Truthfully, I need breaks from people at various parts of the day or for some period of time. This is the essence of a shy person's daily struggle.

So on behalf of all the shy people out there, I want to address that.

1. Meeting people is difficult, and it takes time for us to become transparent and develop trust.

An unfathomable amount of thoughts race through our minds, often crippling and suffocating our ability to start the first conversation. Formulating an introduction alone and planning its delivery can be daunting, so bear with us if we come off quiet. We're really trying.

But despite being introverts, we crave meaningful relationships and will show our true selves over time. You'll soon find out just how much we value trust and just how trustworthy we are. We want you to do the same.

2. The thought of presenting, going to a networking event, interviewing, or any job-related event causes severe agita.

Putting up a facade in order to appear extroverted is petrifying. We want to project a sociable image, but deep down we're dying for the torture known as "forced interaction" to end. Please spare us—we're hard workers who prefer residing in the outskirts far away from epicenters of socialization.

3. Leadership positions? No thank you.

For the outgoing person, congratulations. Chances are, you'll feel stressed for a moment when given a management role and that stress will quickly subside. For us shy people, however, taking on leadership positions feels like an early, unforeseen death. We're not bad at exerting control, we just have to work extra hard to deal with apprehension and discomfort.

4. We prefer to workout alone.

Gym buddies do not exist in our lives. With headphones and music on full blast, we'd like to transform our treadmills into comforting abodes. Please do not infiltrate our space.

5. We need alone time in general.

Sometimes socialization can be burdensome. Really, really burdensome.

6. But that doesn't mean we don't like people.

Friends and family provide us with great joy. We are forever grateful for the people who understand and love us for simply being us. As much as we love alone time, we occasionally crave socialization.

7. We're sorry if we come off as "standoffish."

You may mistake our shyness for aloofness, indifference, and rudeness. We can't emphasize enough that this is not the case. We're a bit more reserved in disposition, and I promise, we mean no harm.

8. We're not the best at initiating plans.

Because organizing and then participating in these plans creates tremendous anxiety before they even take place.

9. A room full of strangers can lead to our demise, but many of us try to barrel through.

The handshakes. The awkward hugs. The infamous "side kiss." The ice breakers. These can only be described in one phrase: A living nightmare. Yet we don't want to necessarily become a recluse, so we use armors of courage to defend ourselves in these situations.

10. We pick up on every little thing, making many of us highly sensitive and overanalyzers.

Every nuance, every gesture, every word, and every action is interpreted. We're so aware of our surroundings and can perceive our environments and your feelings based on context clues.

11. We're great listeners.

If you have a lot to say, come to us. We will listen and listen and listen.

12. We're not flawed.

People constantly view shyness as a burden, and while it may be encumbering, it certainly does not denote a defect in character. Shyness is a part of our identities, but that's it—a mere part. We're more than one trait. Treat us as such.

Cover Image Credit: www.hexjam.com

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3 Reasons Why Step Dads Are Super Dads

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I often hear a lot of people complaining about their step-parents and wondering why they think that they have any authority over them. Although I know that everyone has different situations, I will be the first to admit that I am beyond blessed to have a step dad. Yep, I said it. My life wouldn't be the same that it is not without him in it. Let me tell you why I think step dads are the greatest things since sliced bread.

1. They will do anything for you, literally.

My stepdad has done any and every thing for me. From when I was little until now. He was and still is my go-to. If I was hungry, he would get me food. If something was broken, he would fix it. If I wanted something, he would normally always find a way to get it. He didn't spoil me (just sometimes), but he would make sure that I was always taken care of.

SEE ALSO: The Thank You That Step-Parents Deserve

2. Life lessons.

Yup, the tough one. My stepdad has taught me things that I would have never figured out on my own. He has stood beside me through every mistake. He has been there to pick me up when I am down. My stepdad is like the book of knowledge: crazy hormonal teenage edition. Boy problems? He would probably make me feel better. He just always seemed to know what to say. I think that the most important lesson that I have learned from my stepdad is: to never give up. My stepdad has been through three cycles of leukemia. He is now in remission, yay!! But, I never heard him complain. I never heard him worry and I never saw him feeling sorry for himself. Through you, I found strength.

3. He loved me as his own.

The big one, the one that may seem impossible to some step parents. My stepdad is not actually my stepdad, but rather my dad. I will never have enough words to explain how grateful I am for this man, which is why I am attempting to write this right now. It takes a special kind of human to love another as if they are their own. There had never been times where I didn't think that my dad wouldn't be there for me. It was like I always knew he would be. He introduces me as his daughter, and he is my dad. I wouldn't have it any other way. You were able to show me what family is.

So, dad... thanks. Thanks for being you. Thanks for being awesome. Thanks for being strong. Thanks for loving me. Thanks for loving my mom. Thanks for giving me a wonderful little sister. Thanks for being someone that I can count on. Thanks for being my dad.

I love you!

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An Incurable Disease Doesn't Change The Love I Have For You

Because one day the one you love the most is fine and the next day they're not, it causes devastation you never truly recover from.

nadoty
nadoty
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Loving someone with an incurable disease is the most emotionally straining thing I have ever experienced.

My significant other and I have been together for almost six years. During the summer of 2018, we all noticed the significant changes he was going through. He had lost around fifty pounds and had a lack of appetite. We had figured something was going on, however, we didn't realize it was anything serious.

Fast forward to the Fall semester of 2018. I had visited my boyfriend and we had expressed certain concerns, such as, through the night I would try and get him to stop uncontrollably itching his legs to the point of bleeding, or that he was looking a little yellow and was exhausted all the time. After seeing his sister in November, while I was at school, she pleaded with him to go to urgent care because he did not look good. He was yellow, exhausted, and very sickly looking. We didn't realize that the urgent care visit would be the precedent of the rest of our lives.

After coming home for Thanksgiving and spending a week straight in the hospital with him, it finally set in that something was not right. Between all the vomit, getting moved for testing, the weakness, the constant calling for medications because the pain was so severe, and the almost month-long stay in the hospital, it hit me full force that something was really wrong. Words will never truly describe the emotions I was feeling, or the burden of my thoughts that I felt were too selfish to pass on anyone, so I kept them to myself.

When we finally got the diagnosis, we were surprised. PSC, otherwise known as Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis, is an incurable liver disease that affects the bile ducts which become scarred and inflamed, more likely than not lead to cirrhosis and an inevitable transplant. There was no cure, rather the only solution was a liver transplant, and even then the disease can be recurring.

I was thinking selfishly. I was torn in two. What would our future look like? Could we have children? Could we ever do the things we used to?

Loving someone with an incurable disease is a mix of emotions. There is a constant fear in the back of my mind that he is going to wake up in intense pain and have to be rushed to the hospital. There is a constant fear of every time waiting for the bi-weekly blood test results to come back, in fear that his Bilirubin spiked again or he is undergoing a flare up and needs to be hospitalized. There is a constant anxiety that one day he's going to be fine, and the next day he won't be. Even the simple things, such as laying beside one another, was a constant fear I had, due to the pain he was in every day. What if I hit him in my sleep on accident? What if I accidentally hugged a little too tightly and caused him pain?

Loving someone with an incurable disease can be a fluctuation of emotions, however, he makes it worth it.

nadoty
nadoty

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