To my dearest Alex,

You have been told for months that everything will be okay. You have been told for months what to expect and maybe what you are going to feel. You have suffered a loss that most people cannot relate to or understand your pain. You have been riding one of the most emotional roller coasters someone can go through. You have lost one of the most important people in your life. You have lost your dad to cancer and nothing anyone can say or do can fix that. However, I want you to know a couple of things.

1. I want you to know that you are not alone. You have so many people that care and truly love you. You have so many people that would do anything for you. You do not need to feel alone in the situation.
2. I want you to know that my dad will be there for you. My dad does not replace your dad. However, my dad will be there when you need him for fatherly advice. My dad will be there for you when you need him for anything. My family is your family.
3. I want you to know how amazing your mother is. Your mother is the strongest woman that I have ever met and will ever meet. Your mom’s love for your dad was beautiful and incredible. I want our love to resemble that of your mom and dad’s.
4. I want you to know that I will be there for every step of the way. I will not leave your side. I will comfort you and wipe away any tears you may have. I will be there to hold you at night and to hold your hand when you need it.
5. I want you to know that it is okay to hurt. Each day may present itself as a challenge and that is okay. It is okay to breakdown and feel alone. It is okay to be scared and in pain.
6. I want you to know that he is proud of you. Your dad is somewhere looking over you and watching you. He is seeing the man you are today and the man you will become.
7. I want you to know that this does not change the man you are. It will only change your perspective on life and allow you to overcome harder obstacles down the road.
8. I want you to know that everyone is okay. Your mom is relieved and is okay. Your brothers and sisters are okay. Your aunt and uncles are okay. Your dad is finally okay.
9. I want you to know that it is not going to be easy. You will have your days of full happiness and not think about it. You will have your days when sadness seeps over you and you cannot control it. You will have anger and fear. All these emotions and more are okay.
10. I want you to know that your dad is better. Your dad is no longer feeling pain. He is somewhere on the beach watching the sunset, smoking a cigar and drinking a beer while listening to Jimmy Buffet. Your dad is finally free.
11. I want you to know that all the memories you have of your dad will remain special. You may not be creating more memories with him but you should continue his memory on.
12. I want you to know that I know you’re angry. I know you’re mad your dad could not see you get married or have kids. I know you’re mad you did not get to do everything with your dad. I know you’re mad that your dad will not be there for your graduation. All of these things are okay to be mad about.

All of these things are important for you to know. You can feel however you wan to, but you need to know that no one is judging you. I know that a sorry does not fix the way you feel or bring him back but I am terribly sorry for your loss and what you have had to gone through. You are loved so dearly by many people and should never feel alone. You are a wonderful man, a man that your dad was and is proud of. Do not change the man you are but learn from this situation. Continue to let his legacy live on. Rest in peace, John Wayne Tatum, your family and friends will miss you dearly.