1. Your academic advisor has seen you break down enough times to be considered a close friend.

"I haven't slept in 48 hours and I'm considering leaving college forever. Advise me."

2. The GPA calculator is in your recent search history.

"I can make one D, four As and two Bs and still get above a 3.0."

3. You've thought about dropping out of school and hitchhiking across the country as a new-age hippie because "money doesn't buy happiness."

"I mean, the Amish seem pretty happy doing their own thing."

4. You've thought about dropping out of school and becoming a high-end stripper because, of course, money buys happiness.

"So, I'm thinking about changing my major to something a little more lucrative."

5. Netflix is both your savior and downfall.

"I'll just take a movie break. A two-hour movie break."

6. Every night not spent at the library is one wracked with guilt.

"How can I be sleeping when I have my test that determines 40 percent of my grade in three days?"

7. That 2 a.m. kick of productivity when your circadian clock is out of whack.

"I need to clean my house and meet with my professorright now."

8. You're positive that at least one professor has a personal vendetta against you and wants to ruin your life.

"It's because of that one time she caught me texting in class, isn't it?"

9. Any fun extracurricular event feels like a sick joke to have been planned this close to finals.

"They're mocking me. They would have it the night before my worst exam."

10. The stereotypical procrastination Instagram post.

"#TBT to happier times."

11. At least one of your classes has gone from being a required course to the fifth circle of Hell, circa Dante's Inferno.

" Fire and pitchforks? Or ecology?"

12. Yet, somehow, you're more broke than before.

"The more stressed I am, the less money I have."