Pushy people come in all shapes and sizes. Unfortunately, I have had to learn how to deal with a number of them in recent years. The word "pushy" sounds so ugly, but I could not think of a better word to describe every person in this category. Do not get me wrong, being that way is not always a bad thing, but it does need to be toned down. Anyone can be pushy, even if they do not mean to be. Each and every one of us will deal with a pushy person in our lifetimes, and it's important to know the signs, how to deal with them and know that it is okay to not let people into certain aspects of your life.
1. Recognize the signs.
There are people who are pushy for the sole reason that they feel they have a right to know every detail of your life. Noticing the signs are important. Watch out for overbearing comments on social media, such as, "Wow, I wish you had involved me in this." Other remarks come across as nosy as well, such as relentless text messages that are similar to, "I really love you and I wish you would talk to me more about what is going on in your life." While these messages seem endearing, they have underlying tones of pushiness.
2. Take a step back and breathe.
It's going to be okay. It is normal to feel overwhelmed when someone is pushing a product or business on you, or when someone is sticking their nose where it does not belong. It is not the end of the world. If you need to take a step back and figure out a way to deal with the situation at hand then do.
3. Realize that sometimes, it is their job.
Door to door salesmen, Mary Kay consultants, Plexus consultants, and more are just trying to make a living. I know it may be aggravating, and you may feel overwhelmed but realize that this is their profession. You do not have to buy anything, and that is okay. Usually, you will not be judged for turning down a product. Simply thank them for taking the time to teach you about the new product, and tell them you are not currently interested in purchasing.
4. Ask yourself if you're being dramatic.
I have found myself in this very situation. Often times, when I feel someone is being pushy, I get upset and angry immediately, and I don't sit down and think rationally. Sometimes, we can be dramatic. Ask yourself if you are, and think about what you can do to not be so dramatic.
5. Try to remain calm.
This is another step that I struggle with. Too many times, I find myself wanting to scream, "Shut up and leave me alone!" However, reacting that way can cause even more strife, and can hurt a lot of feelings. Neglecting to remain calm can result in an even bigger problem than the one currently at hand.
6. Be honest.
After you have remained calm, and realized if you were being dramatic or not, it's time to be honest with the pushy person and the situation at hand. Regardless of how nice you may attempt to be, some feelings may still be hurt. When a stay at home mom hears the words "no thank you," she may be hurt and worried about the bills this month. However, it is your job to be honest with yourself and with them. When a family member asks why they were not involved in something, or why you opened up to a different family member instead of them, you must be honest. It may hurt feelings, but honesty is the best policy. Explain that you are closer to that other family member. Explain that you just do not have the money or the need for that certain product.
7. Keep your door as open or closed as you would like.
Do not let anyone tell you that you must share more than you are comfortable with. People may make you feel bad for not purchasing their product. People may make you feel bad for not confiding in them, and not sharing every intimate detail of your life. You do not owe anyone anything. People will try to make you feel guilty by telling you that you hurt them, but ignore it. You as a human being are entitled to privacy and can share as little or as much as you desire.
8. Take everything they say with a grain of salt.
I have been told, "Since you don't want to include me in this part of your life, then you must hate me. Especially since you share all of your information with that other person." When hearing a phrase similar to this, you must let it go in one ear and out the other. They don't mean it. When people feel hurt, they tend to want to make others feel guilty. Putting your foot down is not wrong, and if someone wants you to feel bad for it, let it go.
9. Help them understand.
I am a person who likes to stay to myself. I share personal information with a select few family members and friends. When other friends and family members caught wind of this, I had to explain why I shared less with them. It had nothing to do with hate. I, just like others, are closer to certain people because our personalities mesh better and because I know I can trust these people. It is important to explain why you stand where you stand. Help them know that the way they are acting is stressing you out and can sometimes be an inconvenience.
10. Do not let the topic get off hand.
Often times, the pushy person will feel uncomfortable once you put your foot down and may want to change the subject. You cannot let that happen. Changing the subject can sometimes make them think you have forgotten about the situation and they can continue to be pushy in your life.
11. Make jokes.
I do not mean make fun of the other person. Make light of the situation. A phrase such as, "No I don't hate you. I just dislike you every now and then. Just kidding, I do love you a lot." When you put your foot down, you shouldn't leave them hanging. Try to make them feel comfortable and at peace with you and the situation.
12. Be aware of when you are being pushy.
If you have ever dealt with a pushy person, you know it can be difficult. Some of us, myself included, are guilty of being pushy without intending to be. It is important to take a step back and think "Would I appreciate it if a person was doing/saying this to me?" Be aware of what you do as well as what others do around you.