Oh, summer, you've been too good to us. We've had our share of good times, but I don't think it's working out anymore. Yes, that's right we need to breakup. I've got better things ahead of me, and when I say better things I mean going to SHU.
Let's face it, we're all more than ready to head back to our temporary home at Sacred Heart. We can't wait to be reunited with the subpar food of 63's and our laughably small campus. If any of these signs apply to you, then you are so ready to go back to SHU:
1. You reminisce daily with your friends.
Your ~squad~ group chat is constantly blowing up with “remember when ...” texts and hilarious pictures that can’t really be explained from nights you wish you remembered.
2. You find yourself missing GSTAR
Speaking of crazy nights, you must feel as though your Tuesday nights have been dull, lacking excitement and cheap beer. This summer you have found yourself longing for Bridgeport’s favorite dive bar — GSTAR. Jam-packed with sweaty freshmen and creepy locals, this ratchet bar is calling us all home. We miss you, GSTAR.
3. You’ve become ridiculously cheap when it comes to spending money.
You have to save your cash if you want it to last you until spring. You find yourself passing on dinner plans and shopping in order to keep your funds stable. How else will you pay for overpriced cab rides and ridiculous cover fees?
4. You’re getting so sick of your summer job that you actually wouldn’t mind attending a colloquium.
Minimum wage is nice and all, but you know what I could go for? A Human Journey colloquium.
5. You’re tired of making small talk with fellow high school alumni.
Honestly, you’ve run out of things to say to these people who are practically strangers. School’s good. Summer’s good. Yup. OK, see you at the 30-year reunion.
6. Parents are getting on your nerves.
You feel as though you were stripped of a certain freedom when you came home this May and now you want it back. No, Mom, I did not clean my room. Is it really that pressing of an issue?
7. Craving 63’s mashed potatoes happens all too often.
And on the eighth day, God created 63’s mashed potatoes.
8. You miss the Chartwells employee.
We love you, Sandy.
9. Your long-distance relationship with Merritt is becoming stressful.
Coming home after a night out just isn’t the same. As you tiptoe through the kitchen, trying not to wake your parents, your choices for late-night snacking are weak. A subtle tear rolls down your cheek as your picture yourself indulging in a greasy Mac n’ Cheese bite from Merritt. Hang in there, you’ll be reunited with your favorite diner soon enough.
10. You almost sort of miss being bombarded with e-mails.
Well ... almost.
11. You’re already planning syllabus week.
OK, so Sunday we’ll obvi do karaoke night at GSTAR. And Tuesday’s a sure thing. What the heck, let’s do one of those 18+ clubs on Thursday. Do we risk our ID’s at SONO? No, no let’s just cap the weekend off with GSTAR on Saturday too.
12. You’re counting the seconds until you’re back at good ol' SHU.
The separation anxiety is REAL, and if you're forced to wait any longer, you may just go crazy. Fear not, fellow Pio's — move-in day is approaching and, soon enough, we'll be back at good ol' SHU.