When I lost my older sister Emilee to cancer, I lost my role model. I lost my best friend. I no longer had anyone there to tell me what was around the corner, what to watch out for, and what to stay away from. I was left alone to blindly stumble around and figure out life by myself.

Now, three years into my grief, I have figured out a few things. Looking back, these are the reminders I would have wanted along the way.

1. There is a difference between who you are now in your grief, and who you will be in the future as a changed person.

You will not always be this depressed and down.

2. You may be questioning who you are -- that is OK.

Not only are you grieving your loved one, you are grieving the old you.

3. Some days will be worse than others.

Every day is a roller coaster. Be patient and kind to yourself.

4. There is no easy fix for grief; it is a journey, a process.

Keep trekking and treading. I promise you it will get easier as you get stronger.

5. Grief clouds judgment.

Keep this in mind when you make decisions.

6. Do not let the darkness and heaviness swallow you whole.

Find and invest in activities, hobbies or friends that are healing to you.

7. Not everyone has to know everything.

Not everyone will understand, either.

8. Friends are meant to be there for you -- let them be your distraction, or your outlet to express how you are doing.

Don’t feel bad for it.

9. You need to have alone time.

Get away from it all, take a walk, listen to music, write, run, whatever, just make sure you take time to pause and acknowledge. Maybe scream.

10. Triggers are a real thing.

Explain triggers to your closest friends; let them know when it happens. Triggers are a sudden experience or sensation (smell, song, word, color, phrase) that bring you back to a memory of or with the person you have lost.

11. You may feel empty and weak, but losing someone and getting through it takes courage and strength.

Remember that you are brave. You are strong. And you will persevere.

12. You may feel you have nothing to give others, but grief gives you the gift of compassion and of vulnerability.

You give the gift of realness, of honesty and transparency, of true depth. Your struggle has made you beautiful. This world is shallow, and full of fake realities and perfect appearances. Grieving souls are the breath of fresh air this world needs.