It really is cool to be Italian, Cuban, and Norwegian. I take a lot of pride in my heritage. I enjoy that three completely different ethnicities make up the person I am today. The one thing that I was never warned about was how fun and challenging it is to be born into a big family. These are my 12 reasons why growing up in big families is the craziest best.
1. If you tell one person, you can bet you're telling the entire family.
If you tell your grandma one thing, you know your cousins will be texting you about it the next day. Secrets are not a thing in big families. You better keep those secrets to yourself or make it VERY CLEAR that you want NO ONE to know, or else you're screwed.
2. You can be 22 and out of college but you are still stuck at the kid's table.
I don't know why I never realized it, but the tables will not miraculously get more chairs. You will be stuck at the kids table when you very much deserved to be bumped up to the adult table about eight years ago.
3. "I'm not hungry" is something that just can't be said.
When you're Italian, Cuban, and Norwegian you might as well have started making room last week. If you're not hungry, you're sick. If you're not hungry, you get a lecture as to why you need to respect whoever made the food by eating the food. Just take one for the team and eat the food.
4. Expect any person you bring to be questioned as if they committed a crime.
You have a boyfriend? Is he good enough? Where did you meet? What does he want to do? What college does he go to? What are his intentions? What does he do in his free time? Are you going to marry him? Do you love him? Oh....he's Irish....he's ok....I guess....
5. You bet you're not walking out of a family gathering without $5 in your hand.
When you explain all the activities you do or the fact that you're a poor college student and you're sure to get the "awww, honey" and a little bit of Honest Abe, especially form the older family members. It brightens your day just a little more and makes you just a little happier that you had to cancel plans that day (although seeing your family is DEFINITELY fulfilling enough).
6. Wait, going to a party and seeing a whole pig rotating is not normal?
This has actually happened to me before. This is also extremely Cuban and extremely funny if you aren't used to it. I was five years old and showed up to a family gathering to find a FULL BLOWN PIG cooking. To top it off, my cousin ran around with the head.
7. You kinda freak out when you see another family member having the same little quirks you have.
When you see a family member hold, do, or say something that is very similar to you, it takes you back just a little bit. It's so funny when you notice it and you wonder why you've never noticed it before. You don't realize when people say "you are so much like ____" until you see it for yourself.
8. You know that no matter what, you can always text or call your cousins when there is a problem.
No matter where you are or what you are doing, you can always text your cousins for advice. All my cousins are older than my brother and I and they are just the funniest, most loving, and most caring people ever. This is especially true when we all try to beat Pop in May I.
9. If you have a cough, you should expect 1,000 phone calls by 2:30pm.
If you tell one person that you are sick, you have pretty much been diagnosed with the plague. Drink hot water with lemon, or put vix on, or breathe in steam, or any other crazy remedy that you know will work. You hate that they work, but you love it at the same time.
10. The oldest in your family DEFINITELY means the coolest.
This one mostly goes out to my amazing aunts on my dad's side. Just talking to 90 year old women for hours was so cool. They are the cutest people in the entire world and the best part is hearing how they became the people they are today. When they are gone, the world truly loses the greatest people ever and they will be missed oh so dearly.
11. There is nothing better than your grandparent's cooking.
This is the truth. Nothing else needs to be said. I'm dying in college without my grandparent's wonderful food. I miss it way too much.
12. If you want to leave the party, you need to start the rounds an hour early.
You know that if you do not kiss one person, there will be a conniption. You have to make sure you get to every single family member and talk to them or you might as well not be in the family at all.