Someday, when I become a dad, I'm going to responsible for the growth not just as a father, but to help grow the family. My expectations on being a father include being able to raise a daughter, and here are 12 promises I must make to her.
1. I must be a positive role model.
As a dad, I'm the first man my future daughter will probably meet in her lifetime, and in that way I'll stand out, but I must conduct myself in a way from whom she will learn and develop positive habits.
2. I must love her mother.
In having healthy relationships, one of the first ones my future daughter will see is the one that I have with her mother. In all likelihood, I'm married to her mom, but regardless of our status, I must show my future daughter that I love her mom, since that will show her the positive environment that she needs to succeed.
3. I must be active in her development.
When I have a daughter, I want to do as many things as possible with her so that she grows into being a strong woman. That would include things like playing in the yard with her, teaching her how to speak and talk, having proper table manners and general manners, and teaching her how to read and write.
4. I must teach her how to stand up for herself.
As a father, the ideal situation for my future daughter is that she learns about what respect is from seeing my relationship with her mom and how I treat her. I intend to treat her with the love, care, and respect that she deserves to have, so that when she is at school, or out with friends, she will pick up on if anybody is mistreating her and if so, she will ideally have learned the right defense tactics from her mom and me.
5. I must be encouraging and motivating.
When I am a dad, my future daughter will go through tough times, whether it's about academics or if it's about how she's getting along with teachers or other students. If she is, I want her to know that if she's doing anything unacceptable, such as hitting other people or throwing things, that her actions are not appropriate, but I would explain that to her in an encouraging fashion. I would want to end such conversations with a hug or a high-five or a cheek kiss. That includes me talking to her but being calm yet earnest, without physical action being taken. That also will show her that it's not ever okay for a man to hit a woman.
The same applies for all the times she's doing well too. For example, if she gets straight A's on her report card, she deserves to be rewarded, and I would also remind her that she worked hard for it, and that it's a teaching moment for her to understand that success like that takes effort, and consistent effort at that. It's a confidence-builder.
6. I must be excited during the hellos and good-byes.
When she's going off to school, or if she's driving herself to school, or if she's moving to or back home from college or moving out for good, I want to impress upon her that I'm confident that she'll have a great day, and that I'm enthusiastic about seeing her when she comes home, or when I pick her up from school, or simply the next time I see her. It's important for me to have her know that there's always someone who's happy to see her, hear from her, and talk to her, and wish her good luck in anything she does.
7. I must teach her how to do household activities.
I want to raise my future daughter into being a strong woman, and that is more than just being socially, physically, and mentally strong. I want her to be strong at home too, and the best chance to develop that in her is from me and her mom. Whether it's doing the dishes, or taking out the trash, doing laundry, or cooking meals, I want to make her able.
8. I must promise that I will listen to her.
If my future daughter had a bad day at school and comes home crying, I want to show her that it's okay to tell me, and it's okay to cry on my shoulder. I must promise to her as well that if I'm pushing her beyond her limits, that she's allowed to tell me, and that I'll make it easier on her. As a father, I need to be there in that way for her, to listen to her feelings, listen to her voice, and recognize that she needs me to be a caring figure.
9. I must promise her that my lines of communication are always open.
For me to be able to listen to her, she needs to be able to talk to me.
10. I must promise her that I am proud to be her dad.
I want my future daughter to feel confident that the steps she takes in her life will make her feel fulfilled, and I want to promise her that her path of choice is supported.
11. I must promise her that she is loved by me and by her mom, unconditionally.
Part of my future daughter's confidence will be from doing things that are fun in addition to her chosen life direction. I want to promise her that both her mom and I will love her, regardless of if she wants to train for a marathon or to audition for a beauty pageant.
12. I must promise her that she is loved by God.
As a growing Christian man, God is the center piece, but I want to make it clear to my future daughter too. She was made in God's image, and even though her mom gave birth to her, God made her, and she was meant to be in not just our family, but in His family.
These are 12 of the many promises that any man can have for his future daughter, but these ones stuck out to me the most, and are some of the most important ones I must have for her.