Have you ever wanted to be a public nuisance? Well, here's your opportunity! This step-by-step guide will teach you everything you need to know to become the worst customer ever! Besides, you basically are entitled to the store upon walking in, right?

1. Ask for directions over the phone.

Sure, you had to look up the phone number online anyways and yeah, the address was right next to it, but calling the store and asking the employee to give you step-by-step directions from 45 minutes away is clearly the easier choice. iPhone Maps is just too complicated.

2. Say "no" when asked if you would like any help, and then complain 10 minutes later about how no one in the store will help you.

How dare they? All you need is someone to ask dumb questions to and no one will even come over to talk to you.

3. Talk on your phone while you're checking out.

Be sure to ignore the cashier asking you any questions. This move is especially effective if you initiate the call while you're already at the register.

4. Demand that the cashier accepts your expired coupons.

Well, you forgot to use the coupon three years ago when it was actually valid, but who cares? Those things are basically good for forever.

5. Complain about something trivial, but make sure the complaint is dramatic.

When you walked into the store, you noticed that there was a cart sticking three inches out of the cart corral. You almost tripped over it and nearly died. They're just lucky you didn't have to go to the hospital.

6. Loudly proclaim you will never ever come back to this store again.

...and then come back the next day.

7. Demand a warranty on things that are not warrantied.

So you broke your iPhone that you bought from them six years ago, but they can just get me a new one, right? When they try to argue, assure them that the customer is always right.

8. Comment on how beautiful of a day it is to people who are working inside.

You know they're not going to be out of here until well after dark, so make sure you tell them all about your beach plans for the rest of the day while you're at it.

9. Ask the cashier why an item is so expensive.

They probably know why. After all, it's certainly the cashier that sets all the prices for the nationwide chain. Bonus points if you then try to barter with them.

10. Make a joke about an item being free because there's no tag on it.

No tag? Yours to keep. Next time, don't even ask. Just walk out of the store with everything that has no tag. Merchandise, signs, people... you're entitled to it all!

11. Encourage your toddlers to run around freely.

Especially if there's an aisle with hundreds of breakable things in it. An employee will probably look after your kids. No biggie. Thank God stores double as daycares.

12. Always demand to speak to a manager.

This last one is key. It doesn't matter what you're talking to them about, all that matters is that you pulled them away from something important to address you.