Bleary-eyed, you stumble into the bathroom. You just woke up, and you aren't 100% confident you're alive. You fumble for the faucet, and you get the water steaming.

If you're anything like me, at this point, you sort of just...stand there. You let the water pour over you, and your mind wanders.

They say you do your best thinking in the shower, after all. So let's take a look at the weirdest shower thoughts that come to me while I'm desperately trying to wake up and not miss class.

1. A lot of "inept" words end with "-umble."

I thought of this one after stumbling into the bathroom, fumbling with the faucet, and mumbling and grumbling to myself.

What's up with that? Weird. Since I don't have Google in the shower, this one had to wait until later. When I did check, it seems like most of the "-umble" words stem from either Old English or Low Germanic. This comes from the Google etymology feature, which can be found by searching for a word followed by "etymology."

What I didn't find is the reason for the bumbling ineptitude associated with the "-umble" sound, so if any linguists out there want to take a stab at it, go for it.

2. Why do the British call the British Broadcasting Corporation "the BBC," while Americans simply call the American Broadcasting Corporation "ABC"?

Seriously, what's the difference? With the exception of the country of origin, the two companies' respective titles stand for virtually the same thing. So why do the Brits preempt the acronym with "the," while the Americans drop it?

I did a search on this one, and couldn't find anything conclusive. The mystery of the dropped "the" remains a mystery.

3. What the hell is that guy saying in "Louie Louie?"

You know the song, right? "Louie Louie," by the Kingsmen? It's a classic. If you don't know it, click here.

Part of what makes this song so much fun is that the lyrics are almost one-hundred percent unintelligible.

What's that he's saying in the first verse? Something about a "fine little squirrel?"

No one even knows.

There was even an FBI investigation into what the hell this guy was singing about.

4. What's with the eagles in The Lord of the Rings?

This one is for the nerds out there.

In Middle-earth, there are these giant eagles, who seem perfectly content with flying all over the world doing all sorts of favors for Gandalf, with the exception of a major one: flying the Ring to Mordor to destroy it, which was the main quest of The Lord of the Rings books.

This plot hole has been beaten to death online, so I personally have no hopes of coming to terms with it in the shower.

But I always wonder: "What was Tolkien thinking? Didn't he notice this?!"

5. The chicken nugget is the perfect food item, as it single-handedly symbolizes humanity's dominance in the food chain.

Stay with me for a second. I'm totally serious.

Literally every animal species on earth survives by consuming other organisms, whether those organisms are plants or other animals.

But no other species, besides us, selectively breeds the members of another species, cuts them into nuggets, and them deep fries them.

Chicken nuggets: delicious, indicative of our standing on the food chain, and metal as all hell.

But speaking of our status as a species...

6. Every single person you talk to is just a really smart ape.

Look at that handsome devil.

See how he gazes into the camera, thoughtfully biting a finger?

The weird thing about this picture is how...human it is.

And that's what I realized as I stood there in the shower once.

We, as a species, are only apes that are better at doing things than the other apes.

Sure, we can talk, drive cars, and philosophize in the shower, but, physically speaking, what separates us from other apes?

If you asked a gorilla, he might say that all humans just suffer from alopecia.

7. How do blind people find braille on signs?

And before you accuse me of being ableist, this is something that I've genuinely always wondered.

I've never seen a blind person reading braille in public. But I've seen braille on a ton of signs with braille on them.

My question has always been that, if you can't see, how do you know where to look for braille?

8. If punk rock is all about non-conformity, how come all the punks at the shows dress the same?

I love punk rock as much as, if not more than, the next guy. The whole movement is built on being real and raw and not doing things because you have to, but because you want to. The punk rock ethos is, in my opinion, one of the most important and radical changes in modern music.

But, when everything is about non-conformity, why is it that all the punk kids try to look like Minor Threat (pictured above, with fans that look more or less exactly like them)? Why only go with baggy t-shirts and dark jeans when you don't have to?

In full disclosure, I write this while wearing a baggy t-shirt, dark jeans, and listening to a local punk band, so I can't even complain.

9. If Christians use the complexity of the eye as evidence for the existence of a God, skeptics should use the presence of testicles on the outside of the body as proof that, if there is a God, he's awful at planning.

Basically, a lot of Christians think that the eye is so complex that it couldn't have evolved naturally, and is therefore evidence of the divine.

But if we're being honest here, there are some things about the human body that show that God might be, at the very least, a bit short-sighted.

And that's all I'm saying about that.

10. The Tooth Fairy is basically a mythical organ harvester.

Let's think about this for a second.

The Tooth Fairy is a creature that breaks into your children's room at night in order to take a part of their body for no clearly defined reason.

And we teach our kids to be totally okay with that.

11. Bruce Wayne probably has enough money to fund anti-crime programs in Gotham.

And they would probably be fairly successful.

But instead, he prefers to use is money to dress up as a giant bat, and beat up criminals one at a time.

Bruce Wayne, much like the aforementioned testicle God, isn't incredibly forward-thinking.

Those are the weird things I think about while my mind wanders in the shower. At some point, I eventually wander back out into my room, forgetting everything. And then I get back to my regular life.