1. The Sensitive Ego

Ah, yes. The almighty ego.

Careful! You might say something to hurt it.

Oh wait, don't forget: if you do say something that hurts the almighty ego, you probably won't even know, because the ego-owner will just start suddenly acting like you've never met, and you'll never get a reason why.

2. The Master Exaggerator

He's been all over the world. He can lift 300lbs on a bad day, but you're kind of confused as to where the muscle is hiding. He's such a regular at every coffeeshop, restaurant, store, town, city, country, continent that- you get the point. He just can't go anywhere without someone knowing who he is. He got a C on his last quiz which is synonymous with "I'm failing and the world is falling to pieces".

Oh did he forget to mention how one time in third grade he won the spelling bee so for the rest of his life everyone thought of him as a hero?

3. The Real Slim Shady

It's always sunny.

Classrooms? Sunny.

Thunderstorms? Sunny.

Dorm rooms? Sunny.

That really dimly lit coffeeshop? Definitely sunny.

4. The "Dude" Dude

Oh, word?

Oh, word.

Dude!

Dude.

Dude...

Dude, bro!

Bro.

Bro.... dude.

5. The Imaginary Lat Syndrome Sufferer

That's so sad, Alexa play "Hands In The Air".

6. The Short Temper (literally)

Dear Mr. Short Temper,

I'll have you know that I'm flashing back to the day some guy cut you in the sandwich line and you were ready to square up.

He was a good foot taller than you.

7. The Creepy One

The one who watches your Instagram stories but doesn't follow you.

The one who you *feel* staring at you, so you look up, and they are, in fact, staring at you........ from 10, 20, 30 feet away.

The one who walks past you on the sidewalk and doesn't look away until he PHYSICALLY cannot turn his head far enough to see you anymore.

The one who just magically, coincidentally, unfortunately happens to somehow be everywhere you go.

You know the one.

8. The Macro Master

Is the world ending, or did he just eat too many ~~simple carbs~~ and not enough protein for the day?

(you know who you are. hi!)

9. The Stoic Sire

Is it a rock you're talking to?

Is it a wall?

Is it a statue?

No, no. Don't be alarmed. Its just the Stoic Sire, captain of all things impartial and emotionless.

10. The Grunge Guy

The one who looks like he's either wearing grey eyeshadow all the time or just hasn't slept in a month, but you can't really tell because honestly either one would fit his aesthetic.

11. The Master Illusionist

Defining characteristics include:

- playing mind games and then playing the victim card,

- denying everything that previously left his mouth...

- then proceeding to tell you you're A.) wrong and B.) crazy.

- Usually dressed like a Brad or Chad