"He lives in New York? How does THAT work?" "Long distance never works out." "I could NEVER do that." If I had a dollar for every time someone had a negative comment about my long-distance relationship, then I could probably buy a plane ticket to visit him every weekend. So, for anyone with a negative comment or thought feel free to Venmo me a dollar, my username is @bigpapaal. I'm serious.
My boyfriend, Josh, works in New York and I am attending school in Oklahoma. The distance is by no means easy, but when you find someone great like I have, then going that extra mile (literally) is worth it. Here are 11 tips to make your long-distance relationship work:
1. FaceTime as much as you can
This one is a big one. Some of my best conversations with Josh have been over FaceTime. We talk about lots of different things like our days, our future, something funny that happened earlier, etc. We try to make it seem as much like hanging out as possible.
2. Play games together
We are both big card game people. This one we also do over FaceTime. We both got a Spades app and we figured out how to be on a team and play against other people online. Doing this is fun because we can school people in Spades together and still kind of hang out since we are FaceTiming, too. One rule though: no table talk!
3. Text each other throughout the day
We like to text throughout the day if we aren't busy. We are millennials, so we are always on our phones anyways, might as well text each other.
4. Surprise each other
Whether it be a card in the mail, flowers, having a pizza delivered to their apartment and paying for it, or even a surprise visit... Catch each other off guard with surprises. It will make the person's day.
5. Watch shows together
We LOVE This Is Us. We try to watch it together every week. We also like The Good Doctor, but This Is Us is our show. We FaceTime while we watch so it's kind of like we are watching together minus the cuddling.
6. Do a bible study
This one is a new one for us, but we both really like it. It helps keep us grounded and we are able to talk about serious subjects. We get on the bible app and switch off choosing study plans. If bible studies aren't your thing, then just try having a philosophical conversation about life's toughest questions.
7. Tag each other
Tag each other in posts on Facebook or Instagram that made you laugh or reminded you of the other person. Just knowing something made your significant other think of you is a really great feeling.
8. Talk about the future
When you're in a distance relationship it's important to have the same goals in mind and something to look forward to. Whether you are talking about the things y'all will do next time you see each other or what the plan will be in two years, you should always make a point to talk about it. This gives you things to look forward to together.
9. Visit each other as much as possible
This is another big one! Josh is a volunteer coach for St. John's baseball and the team will be in Kansas for a weekend for some of their games. Even though I am going to see him the following week in New York for my spring break, I am still going to drive to see him in Kansas because he will be so close. Plus, I miss him constantly and I get to see him in uniform, so it's a win-win. (;
10. Be honest
This is a vital part of any relationship, but especially with a distance relationship. Distance requires a lot of trust on both sides. So be transparent with each other at all times and don't hide anything. Don't be afraid to express your fears, jealousy, insecurities, etc.
11. Support each other
Remind each other of how proud you are of one another. Like each others tweets and Instagram posts. Share an article your partner wrote *cough cough*, share an article written about your partner. Be sure that your partner knows you are constantly rooting for them.
Distance is hard work. It takes a lot of trust, patience and sacrifice, but if you love someone enough every bit of extra work is worth it.
"If you want to live together, you first need to learn how to live apart.”