11 Tips For All Long-Distance Couples This Valentines Day And Everyday

11 Tips For All Long-Distance Couples This Valentines Day And Everyday

Distance means so little when someone means so much.
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"He lives in New York? How does THAT work?" "Long distance never works out." "I could NEVER do that." If I had a dollar for every time someone had a negative comment about my long-distance relationship, then I could probably buy a plane ticket to visit him every weekend. So, for anyone with a negative comment or thought feel free to Venmo me a dollar, my username is @bigpapaal. I'm serious.

My boyfriend, Josh, works in New York and I am attending school in Oklahoma. The distance is by no means easy, but when you find someone great like I have, then going that extra mile (literally) is worth it. Here are 11 tips to make your long-distance relationship work:

1. FaceTime as much as you can

This one is a big one. Some of my best conversations with Josh have been over FaceTime. We talk about lots of different things like our days, our future, something funny that happened earlier, etc. We try to make it seem as much like hanging out as possible.

2. Play games together

We are both big card game people. This one we also do over FaceTime. We both got a Spades app and we figured out how to be on a team and play against other people online. Doing this is fun because we can school people in Spades together and still kind of hang out since we are FaceTiming, too. One rule though: no table talk!

3. Text each other throughout the day

We like to text throughout the day if we aren't busy. We are millennials, so we are always on our phones anyways, might as well text each other.

4. Surprise each other

Whether it be a card in the mail, flowers, having a pizza delivered to their apartment and paying for it, or even a surprise visit... Catch each other off guard with surprises. It will make the person's day.

5. Watch shows together

We LOVE This Is Us. We try to watch it together every week. We also like The Good Doctor, but This Is Us is our show. We FaceTime while we watch so it's kind of like we are watching together minus the cuddling.

6. Do a bible study

This one is a new one for us, but we both really like it. It helps keep us grounded and we are able to talk about serious subjects. We get on the bible app and switch off choosing study plans. If bible studies aren't your thing, then just try having a philosophical conversation about life's toughest questions.

7. Tag each other

Tag each other in posts on Facebook or Instagram that made you laugh or reminded you of the other person. Just knowing something made your significant other think of you is a really great feeling.

8. Talk about the future

When you're in a distance relationship it's important to have the same goals in mind and something to look forward to. Whether you are talking about the things y'all will do next time you see each other or what the plan will be in two years, you should always make a point to talk about it. This gives you things to look forward to together.

9. Visit each other as much as possible

This is another big one! Josh is a volunteer coach for St. John's baseball and the team will be in Kansas for a weekend for some of their games. Even though I am going to see him the following week in New York for my spring break, I am still going to drive to see him in Kansas because he will be so close. Plus, I miss him constantly and I get to see him in uniform, so it's a win-win. (;

10. Be honest

This is a vital part of any relationship, but especially with a distance relationship. Distance requires a lot of trust on both sides. So be transparent with each other at all times and don't hide anything. Don't be afraid to express your fears, jealousy, insecurities, etc.

11. Support each other

Remind each other of how proud you are of one another. Like each others tweets and Instagram posts. Share an article your partner wrote *cough cough*, share an article written about your partner. Be sure that your partner knows you are constantly rooting for them.

Distance is hard work. It takes a lot of trust, patience and sacrifice, but if you love someone enough every bit of extra work is worth it.

"If you want to live together, you first need to learn how to live apart.”

Cover Image Credit: everypixel

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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15 Ways To Support Your Military Significant Other

The military is not like any other job.

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15 ways to support your significant other in the military. Being a MILSO is terrifying, lonely, and frustrating. Here are some tips to get by. YOU GOT THIS!

1. Understand that they will be busy

The military is not a 9-5 job with a lunch break. It could be drill or deployment, remember that they are going to be busy. He/she might not be able to call every night, text you, or answer your texts in a timely manner. They are busy, you should stay busy too.

2. The military is not a job, it is a lifestyle 

Unfortunately, you cannot pick and chose when you are a military spouse, girlfriend, or boyfriend. You are expected to act like a MILSO 24/7. You should support them 24/7 and be a listening ear when needed. Your SO does not have a normal job.

3. Become independent

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You will be away from your military significant other for days, weeks, months, or even a year+. This is overwhelming and exhausting. But think of it as an opportunity for you to gain independence, work on your own dreams, and become the person you want to be!

4. Trust, trust, and more trust

Do not take this one lightly. Being a significant other, in any relationship, means trust. You have to believe that they mean what they say. You have to trust them when they cannot answer your texts or calls. Believe that they are doing is important and you can wait.

5. Prepare for deployment

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Unfortunately, this is a very real side of being a MILSO. You never know where and when they are going to leave or for how long. Welcome to the roller coaster (;

6. Do not date them for the benefits 

The job is done because they love their country and want you to be safe, not for the military pay or benefits. It is not glamorous, or worth it just for the health insurance! Do it because you love them.

7. Become a support system

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Support them every day, through words, actions, and reassurance. This job is not easy. Do not be pushy with details. Let your significant other come to you when they are ready.

8. Lean on other MILSOs

Because nobody says you have to do it alone.

9. They are missing you too

Just because they are busy does not mean they are not missing you. Not only do they not have you, but they also do not have their house, bed, family, or even their own country at times!

10. If you have children, be prepared to become both parents 

I, personally, do not have children. However, growing up in a military family, I had my mother play my father role. It is scary but it is possible. Do not expect to be perfect.

11. Be flexible 

When I first started this journey, I thought, "It is the military, when they said he will be home at 6:00 pm, he will be home EXACTLY 6:00 pm!" I could not have been more wrong. FLEXIBILITY IS KEY!

12. The military isn't closed for the holidays

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They will not be home for every holiday, every birthday, or every plan. Plans are made to be changed. Nobody can control the military or its timing. Be prepared to have Christmas in January.

13. Be proud of them 

What they are doing is not easy. It is scary, stressful, exhausting, and time-consuming. They are doing it because they care. Show how proud you are of them.

14. Hug them...all the time

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Appreciate the time you have together. It means the world to both of you.

15. Send packages, letters, texts, ANYTHING

They are looking forward to what you have to say. After their long day, they want to see your texts and packages. Make their job a little more tolerable.

Good Luck, fellow MILSOs! YOU GOT THIS

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