11 Tips For All Long-Distance Couples This Valentines Day And Everyday

11 Tips For All Long-Distance Couples This Valentines Day And Everyday

Distance means so little when someone means so much.
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"He lives in New York? How does THAT work?" "Long distance never works out." "I could NEVER do that." If I had a dollar for every time someone had a negative comment about my long-distance relationship, then I could probably buy a plane ticket to visit him every weekend. So, for anyone with a negative comment or thought feel free to Venmo me a dollar, my username is @bigpapaal. I'm serious.

My boyfriend, Josh, works in New York and I am attending school in Oklahoma. The distance is by no means easy, but when you find someone great like I have, then going that extra mile (literally) is worth it. Here are 11 tips to make your long-distance relationship work:

1. FaceTime as much as you can

This one is a big one. Some of my best conversations with Josh have been over FaceTime. We talk about lots of different things like our days, our future, something funny that happened earlier, etc. We try to make it seem as much like hanging out as possible.

2. Play games together

We are both big card game people. This one we also do over FaceTime. We both got a Spades app and we figured out how to be on a team and play against other people online. Doing this is fun because we can school people in Spades together and still kind of hang out since we are FaceTiming, too. One rule though: no table talk!

3. Text each other throughout the day

We like to text throughout the day if we aren't busy. We are millennials, so we are always on our phones anyways, might as well text each other.

4. Surprise each other

Whether it be a card in the mail, flowers, having a pizza delivered to their apartment and paying for it, or even a surprise visit... Catch each other off guard with surprises. It will make the person's day.

5. Watch shows together

We LOVE This Is Us. We try to watch it together every week. We also like The Good Doctor, but This Is Us is our show. We FaceTime while we watch so it's kind of like we are watching together minus the cuddling.

6. Do a bible study

This one is a new one for us, but we both really like it. It helps keep us grounded and we are able to talk about serious subjects. We get on the bible app and switch off choosing study plans. If bible studies aren't your thing, then just try having a philosophical conversation about life's toughest questions.

7. Tag each other

Tag each other in posts on Facebook or Instagram that made you laugh or reminded you of the other person. Just knowing something made your significant other think of you is a really great feeling.

8. Talk about the future

When you're in a distance relationship it's important to have the same goals in mind and something to look forward to. Whether you are talking about the things y'all will do next time you see each other or what the plan will be in two years, you should always make a point to talk about it. This gives you things to look forward to together.

9. Visit each other as much as possible

This is another big one! Josh is a volunteer coach for St. John's baseball and the team will be in Kansas for a weekend for some of their games. Even though I am going to see him the following week in New York for my spring break, I am still going to drive to see him in Kansas because he will be so close. Plus, I miss him constantly and I get to see him in uniform, so it's a win-win. (;

10. Be honest

This is a vital part of any relationship, but especially with a distance relationship. Distance requires a lot of trust on both sides. So be transparent with each other at all times and don't hide anything. Don't be afraid to express your fears, jealousy, insecurities, etc.

11. Support each other

Remind each other of how proud you are of one another. Like each others tweets and Instagram posts. Share an article your partner wrote *cough cough*, share an article written about your partner. Be sure that your partner knows you are constantly rooting for them.

Distance is hard work. It takes a lot of trust, patience and sacrifice, but if you love someone enough every bit of extra work is worth it.

"If you want to live together, you first need to learn how to live apart.”

Cover Image Credit: everypixel

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Why You Should Stop Chasing Him

You deserve better.
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They say “the thrill of the chase" makes someone more enticing. There's just something about wanting something you can't have that drives you crazy (in a good way). There is never a dull moment. Pursuing him is a challenge. Nothing comes easily. What's the fun in that anyway?

I'm going to tell you this: stop chasing him. Stop forgiving him when he forgets to answer your text messages and phone calls. Stop being the one to always make plans. Stop letting him bail on you. Stop waiting around for him. Stop being lied to. Stop making excuses when he doesn't make time for you. There is a difference between someone who is “hard to get" and a flat out jerk who doesn't give you the time of day. Stop letting him use you.

You deserve to be with someone who makes you fall asleep every night in the middle of texting him because neither of you want the conversation to end. You deserve someone who plans dates for the two of you. You deserve someone who asks you to hang out before midnight. You deserve someone who wants to spend time with you just as much as you do with them. You deserve someone who insists on paying for your ice cream. You deserve someone who won't deceive you. You deserve someone who is straightforward. You deserve attention. You deserve affection. You deserve a partnership that is mutual, not one-sided. You deserve to be chased.

You are better than 3 a.m. “Hey" texts. You are better than a night spent watching a movie just to fool around. You are better than trying to decode his vague messages. You are better than his shadiness. You are better than mind games. You are better than being ignored.

If you have to chase him, he's not worth it. Don't settle for someone who makes you beg for his attention. If he is genuinely interested in getting to know you, he will put in the effort. A relationship where your feelings are reciprocated is far more rewarding than one where you constantly feel like you have to drag him along.

Change your mentality. Become more independent. Be confident, be bold. Find happiness in being alone. Don't waste your time pathetically chasing after someone who doesn't feel the same, but doesn't have the heart or the courage to tell you so. Your self-confidence and positivity will make you radiant, and eventually, you will attract the kind of guy who is mature enough to not mess with your head.

Cover Image Credit: weheartit.com

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Ladies, Stop Trying To Teach Boys How To Be Your Man If They're Not Even Men In The First Place

It is your job to love him. But it is not your job to teach him how to love you back.

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I see. this way too often, honestly it upsets me and breaks my heart. It breaks my heart when I see a girl begging her boyfriend to put her on her Snapchat story. It breaks my heart when I see a girl begging her boyfriend to get off a video game and spend time with her. It breaks my heart when I see a girl doodling on a napkin at the dinner table and her boyfriend is on his phone and hasn't even looked up at her once. These things break my heart because this girl, whoever she may be, maybe it is you? She deserves a man. What she has though, is a boy. And before you say anything, yes, there is a huge difference.

I was that girl once. I begged and begged my ex-boyfriend all the time to put me on his Snapchat story. You may be reading this and be thinking "Wow she's a little attention seeking." No, that is not it at all. A simple act of being posted about made me feel special, loved, missed at times, and served as reassurance and a word of affirmation for me. Do you want to know something silly? Maybe you've done it too. Sometimes I would do something crazy to get his attention. Something funny, and silly and random just so he would post me on his story and I wouldn't have to ask.

At the dinner table, I was that girl that while he was on his phone I was sliding him notes on a napkin saying "I love you" or "Hi" or funny jokes to get his full and undivided attention.

At home, I was the girl that used to literally throw myself at him while he was playing video games to try and get him to press pause for two minutes and pay attention to me and have a conversation with me.

You see, I was that girl. But I refuse to ever be that girl again. If you are that girl, stop what you're doing.

It is your job to love him. But it is not your job to teach him how to love you back.

There is a big difference between a boy and a man. Contrary to what society may believe most boys don't actually turn into men until they are almost 40. Scary for us girls right? But here's the kicker and to be honest it has nothing to do with age.

Any boy that is in the process of becoming a man and maturing is going to know how to treat a woman. He is not going to choose video games or his phone over you. He is going to post you everywhere all the time because he wants to show you off to the world and make you feel special. He isn't going to ever leave you wondering.

The list could really go on comparing and contrasting the differences between a boy and a man but the important ones to remember when you are in a relationship are:

1. A boy thinks "me." A man thinks "us"

2. A boy gives false promises. A man honors his commitments (one being you.)

3. A boy cares about how you look in jeans. A man cares about how you look in his future.

4. You will always wonder how a boy feels about you. You will always know how a man feels about you.

All too often I see girls in the act of this. It is almost like they are training a dog or raising a child. They order them around and become demanding when it comes to doing things that make them feel special, validated and reassured. Granted, they are doing this because their relationship is lacking something but the truth is, it shouldn't be lacking something in the first place.

You are dating a boy not a man. I hate to break that to you. I really do. It's the hardest news you'll ever receive. Why? Well because

You can't fix him, you can't teach him, and you can't change a boy into a man. They have to do it on their own

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