11 Big Things I Want To Tell My Little Sisters

11 Big Things I Want To Tell My Little Sisters

No one will ever know us like we know us.
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There is a quote that I think hangs in ninety percent of all little girls' bathrooms that says something along the lines of "sisters by blood, best friends by choice." And it is so cheesy, so cliche, and terribly overused, but it is true. I don't know two people who know me better than my two little sisters, and there's not a thing I would trade for them and the relationship we have. I can't tell you how blessed I feel that I have them in my life.

Right now, they're about three hours away from me, growing up and becoming little ladies and I am so far away from them. This has been the hardest thing in the world for me, being so far away and not joining them on this journey. So, I think this is something along the lines of a "don’t ever forget me" letter. Also, an advie letter, from your big sis, who’s been through hell and back, and knows a thing or two about all things high school and how to survive it.

Some of these things I have already told you, some of them during our car rides, others I think were probably spoken through the silence, and others I hope are new, but all of them I truly hope you both take to heart.

1. It goes by so fast.

I cannot believe that I’m in college. I can't believe that I have already lived on my own for six months, away from you two. I can’t believe that it was already like four and a half years ago when I was a freshman and I was sitting in the gym on the first day of school at Fenwick. Anyways time. Time changes. Time changes people. Time will change you. Don’t give up on timing.

2. God has a plan for you.

I have learned that steadily over time. I wish I trusted that more when I was younger, instead of trying to figure it out for myself. I urge you to remember the phrase let go and let God. Granted, not in the case of a test going in blind without studying, but if you feel as though you have pressed yourself and learned what you can learn do not stress yourself out. You are capable and you are smarter than so many people out there. Do not give up on Him. Read the Bible, pray the rosary, live for Him.

3. Believe in yourself.

You are the only you there is and you are beautiful. If you ever need to be reminded of that, don’t hesitate to call me.

4. You are so much more than Erika’s little sister.

Granted, you can always use that as an excuse or a building block. the two of you are the most beautiful girls I know, and you can do anything that you want. I love all of the things you stand for, all of your passions, your immense care for everyone and everything. And I am forever proud to be your big sister. I'm learning to love being called Emily & Ellie's Big Sister.

5. Learn from your friends.

I learned that I tended to join the flow of things. Sophomore year, I had a different group of friends, they were the best and the worst of things for me. At the time, they were my best friends and I am recognizing now, that I did need them. But from them, I learned who I was and who I didn’t want to be. You both have already had your share of friend drama and I hate saying that there is more to come, but I know there will be. Keep your head up, you are better than that.

6. Mom and Dad really do want what’s best for you.

Even when it definitely doesn’t seem like it. Being away from them has really shown me that. Unfortunately, you still have a few years, but just trust me. Take what they say with a grain of salt and remember that they are trying to help. Mom and I are closer than we have ever been after being up here. They will do anything they can to help you succeed. I promise.

7. Having a few close friends is so much more important than trying to be friends with everyone.

Everyone is not going to like you and that is OK. more than okay really. Cherish the few who make you happy, the people who make you, you. Those are the people who are going to make you happy. At times you will feel very alone, everyone does. Don't let it get you down, take that time to focus on yourself and make yourself better for the next person who comes into your life.

8. Be there for each other.

I wish I could be there closer to you all to see you grow up. I miss you so much. It makes my heart hurt knowing you are so far away from me, but it also gives me so much joy that you have the opportunity to foster your relationship. Do it for me. I know you can get on each others' nerves sometimes but you’ll realize, in time, how incredible of a relationship and family dynamic we have. We are so blessed. Don’t take it for granted.

9. Do not be afraid to ask for help.

I have learned so much about myself through PLA and if there is one thing I wish I could’ve told myself, it is that. The world is longing to help you. So ask for it. The opportunities that are out there are actually endless. It's scary, haha. I’m always here. Ask dad. He's full of insight. Ask papaw (either of them). Ask your teachers, Mrs. Horn, Shayne, literally anyone.

10. Do what makes YOU happy.

If that means you take a year to travel or do service after high school, do it. There are so many things looking back that I did, sacrificing my own happiness in order to please other people. To an extent, and depending on the person, compromise is okay. But make sure that you aren’t going 90% and they’re only going 10%. You are your own biggest fan, so do you, and do it well.

11. Don't forget the little things.

Life isn't easy. It isn’t sunshine and daisies and Granny's warm everything cookies. But those things are there and they are good. Don’t ever forget to thank God for the little things, for the sunsets that make you stop in your tracks, for the moments surrounded by your friends, all laughing at something seemingly silly, and especially for warm everything cookies. Always warm everything cookies. I think that you of all people understand the importance of the little things, and I am so thankful that you are aware of that. Jesus blesses us through the seemingly unimportant things, which leads me to my next point- some of the biggest blessings aren’t things, they’re people.

S.P.P. That I'll always be here to watch the sunset with you.

Love you to Dale Hollow and back,

Your big sis

Cover Image Credit: Erika Glover

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To The Dad Who Didn't Want Me, It's Mutual Now

Thank you for leaving me because I am happy.
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Thank you, for leaving me.

Thank you, for leaving me when I was little.

Thank you, for not putting me through the pain of watching you leave.

Thank you, for leaving me with the best mother a daughter could ask for.

I no longer resent you. I no longer feel anger towards you. I wondered for so long who I was. I thought that because I didn't know half of my blood that I was somehow missing something. I thought that who you were defined me. I was wrong. I am my own person. I am strong and capable and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

In my most vulnerable of times, I struggled with the fact that you didn't want me. You could have watched me grow into the person that I have become, but you didn't. You had a choice to be in my life. I thought that the fact that my own father didn't want me spoke to my own worth. I was wrong. I am so worthy. I am deserving, and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

You have missed so much. From my first dance to my first day of college, and you'll continue to miss everything. You won't see me graduate, you won't walk me down the aisle, and you won't get to see me follow my dreams. You'll never get that back, but I don't care anymore. What I have been through, and the struggles that I have faced have brought me to where I am today, and I can't complain. I go to a beautiful school, I have the best of friends, I have an amazing family, and that's all I really need.

Whoever you are, I hope you read this. I hope you understand that you have missed out on one of the best opportunities in your life. I could've been your daughter. I could have been your little girl. Now I am neither, nor will I ever be.

So thank you for leaving me because I am happy. I understand my self-worth, and I understand that you don't define me. You have made me stronger. You have helped make me who I am without even knowing it.

So, thank you for leaving me.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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To The Sister About To Move Away, Girl, You've Got This

You may not physically be here right now, but you're always with our family.

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You were there on the day I was born, somehow sleeping soundly as our mom gave birth to me. I'll never forget the photograph of her presenting me to the world and you sitting beside her, holding up your newly-purchased beanie baby with pride as if being handed this toy was equal to the miracle of birth.

It was a crab, by the way, which somehow makes it funnier.

Growing up, you loved to trick me. You'd make me do chores for you and steal my favorite Barbies, but I think that's just part of being an older sister. I'd stick my tongue out at you and cry out the same phrase, "Mooooom, Sissy is being mean to me!" In fact, I yelled this phrase so often that it began to take on a musical quality.

You were mean at times, but you always had my back. You physically beat up other children that had wronged me, and you let me crawl into your bed so we could watch TV together and exchange stories. We'd often immerse ourselves in fantasy worlds where we were princesses and we rode unicorns side-by-side.

But we grew up, and our fantasy world evaporated like the muddy puddles we'd play in after stormy nights. One second it was there, and then, it was just gone. I remember having a conversation a few years back where we wondered if we had known the last time we played Barbies would, in fact, be our last.

When I was a seventh grader, you were a junior in high school. Our problems were very different back then, but that didn't stop us from talking endlessly about them. We were so similar. We bonded over cheerleading, cute boys, books and music. But even more than that, we bonded over our similar life views and questions about the universe. We both possessed an innate love for life yet we were both distrustful of society's guidelines.

Watching you enter new life phases enthralled me. I thought, Wow, that will be me someday. I danced around the house in each of your four prom dresses, my imagination taking me to a place much grander than a high school gymnasium. Through your stories, I romanticized the future and hoped that I would be as cool as you.

It was a little tough at times, though, always longing for a different part of life. When I entered junior high, all I wanted was to be in high school. When I entered high school, I decided college was much cooler because that's what you said. And you were certainly right about that one.

You were the only one I felt comfortable sharing my writing with, the only one I knew could read the meaning behind my sideways glances. We just got each other in every way.

And we still do. To this day, you are one of the people I love and trust most. I don't know what I am going to do without you by my side, as you've been right there for 20 years. But I'm so proud of you. Of the many things we would lay around and talk about throughout the years, one topic persisted: moving away. Moving used to be a pipe dream, something beautiful that lived in your mind but would never come to pass.

And then you took a chance. And now that dream is a reality.

I want you to know how much I admire you. You are so incredible and resilient. I've never met anyone so strong-minded and willing to fight for what she believes in. You would never compromise yourself or your values for another person, but you are generous with others and so kind-hearted.

You are curious about the world and have a desire to learn about life and the richness it has to offer. That is a special quality that cannot be learned. You are beautiful in every way and are truly a blessing to have as a sister.

And it is from these very qualities and so many others that I know you will do great on your own. Sure, it's super tough at first; nobody said it would be easy. But if anyone can do it, then that person is certainly you.

I will always cherish our moments together, and you can always count on me to be there on the sidelines cheering you on, no matter where your adventure takes you.

Much love,

Your Little Sis

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