There are many sides of myself I have yet to explore, but with finals coming up, and everyone stressing out, I began thinking of how everyone's emotions affect me also. This moment is when I realized how empathic I am. Here's a little run down.
1. Crowds can be tiring
While I attribute this to how I'm an introvert and have panic disorder anxiety, which is wonderful. When I feel other people's emotions around me, it can make it worse. I love the energy at fairs, but if I see a kid crying, I just want to make them laugh and have to keep it in.
2. Weird mood swings
Yeah, this happens a lot. And I never really have an explanation for some of my moods. And some might say it is because of my period. Yeah, I said it, it's not gross. But mood swings because of this trait are no joke. I'm sorry if I can't always explain them, it's what I pick up.
3. Doing whatever it takes to cheer someone up
My list of methods to cheer people up is longer than Barney's playbook from How I Met Your Mother. I will try everything to the point of exhaustion just to make someone smile. It's a part of my personality.
4. Trying to figure out what is wrong
I never want to dig so far that someone is uncomfortable and accept that they will say it if they want to, but a part of me wants to know what is wrong. Sometimes I feel like a failure as a friend for no reason. It's not fun.
5. Not knowing what to do
Then there are situations when I know what's up but have no clue what to do. And then social anxiety kicks in, which makes it better. And this is when I try to pull everything I know about this person out and examine it. Yeah, I'm an amateur detective.
6. Asking a million questions
Ask my mother how many questions I ask if I think she is in an off mood, and she would say a lot. I tend to check up on people like I'm a mother, and that's a side many people know. Jokes can be made, of course, but it's one of my ways of showing that I care.
7. Always being supportive
Who is the cheerleader on the sidelines of most situations? Me! Sometimes I need to be harsher and other times I need to show my emotions more, but I'm always there, even at a distance.
8. Struggling to lead
I'm slowly adapting to taking control right now, but it is a stumbling block. Tension and stress from others can drive me into the background. I just have to press the gas sometimes and show people how much I can do while trying to not take too much control. It's a work in progress.
9. Adapting to situations
Like a sponge, I feed on positivity better than anything else. But when things get weird I want to hide or just not be there. The thing is, sometimes I can't avoid it. And it's better I don't. When emotions come into play, adapting is a skill I need to have to do what I do best without crossing a line or trying not to.
10. Not focusing on myself enough
And, here is the kicker. With so much energy going to others, I rarely consider myself. Even with my latest tough decisions, other people are taken into account before I realize I need to protect myself too. I mean, I have a blade, but others normally come first. This is my biggest weakness if I'm being honest.