The good thing about the social sphere of college is for the first time, you get to choose who you associate with, within one of the most diverse and dynamic atmospheres. We are no longer forced to be in the same classes, with the same people, doing the same or slightly different things. Everyday we meet someone new, do something different. We have the freedom to surround ourselves with the people we enjoy, and to avoid those we do not. While I could go on about the people in my life that I love and enjoy, I’d rather tell you about the people that I don’t enjoy. More specifically, people who try to be my best friend because of my sexuality. The tea is hot, my friends.
Here are 11 reasons why I don't want to be your gay best friend:
1. You think I like shopping with you/picking out your outfits
Although you desperately need help, I honestly have no knowledge of women's fashion. I simply just do not care? This stereotype disregards the existence of diversity of interests in the queer community and the fact that there are even memes about this says enough.
2. You think it's OK to get naked in front of me
Can you believe it? I actually don't want to see your boobs! What an amazing concept. Keep your titties away from my visual field (unless I ask for nudes).
3. I’m not an accessory
Sometimes it feels like I would look better draped around your shoulder or fastened around your waist. You act as though my friendship somehow increases your social status, and I'm not having it. This puts a value on my friendship, a value on me; how do I know when you'll trade me for something better?
4. I don’t like to be reminded I’m gay everyday
For some reason, some people feel the need to tell me that I'm gay. It happens pretty much everyday. It's almost like I'm unaware of my own self! Unbelievable right? Stop viewing me as your "gay friend" and treat me like an actual person.
5. You only like me cause I’m “sassy and drama-free”
While I agree that i'm a sassy individual, the concept of seeking a gay friend just because they tend to have less drama is belittling and manipulative. I do not exist for your own personal gain and your assumption perpetuates the idea that the queer community doesn't have problems. We have issues, we are people.
6. I get tired of talking about boys/your boy troubles
Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I want to talk about boys all the time. You are reducing my personality to my sexuality. When will this end?
7. At some point you’ll say “If you weren’t gay, we could totally date” and then proceed to plan our life together
I'm gonna have to stop you right there. If I wasn't gay, I would definitely not be interested...I've already seen you naked remember? Yikes.
8. You suck at kissing
You were drunk. I was drunk. It happened. I regret it.
9. You will probably set me up with any gay person you know
Thank you for trying to fit my sexuality into your heteronormative organization of the world! Believe it or not, I don't need a boyfriend to achieve happiness.
10. You always want to watch porn with me?
You know what? You caught me lol. I'll definitely watch porn with you. What you into?
11. You didn't listen to No. 6 and asked me for advice about boys again?
WTF I'm still tryna figure that out on my own? Like?
On a serious note, the stigma behind the gay best friend is borderline dehumanizing. It is an issue I have wished to discuss and hopefully I have changed your perspective for the better. I do not wish to be treated like an item or be constantly told of my own homosexuality. I'm not always sassy (and my sass isn't always mean?) and I have a variety of other interests we can talk about and share. I would actually love to be your best friend, so long as you see me as your best friend and not your gay best friend. Remember to spread positivity fam. Love y'all.
