11 Unexpected Parent Phrases
Relationships

11 Unexpected Parent Phrases

You might be a parent if you say this.

14
Tiffany R

No one ever warned me about how my language and way of talking would change when I became a parent. I knew there would be some difficult conversations later on in life like the birds and bees and death, but I never thought I would have hilarious conversations with a three year old. Some of these conversations are absolutely ridiculous. However, most of the time, I’m just surprised at what I say. While some of these phrases are probably very common in every house hold with children, some of these are very specific phrases that will probably only happen in our house.

1. You cannot wipe my butt.


Seriously, I say this to our three year old on a regular basis. We are still potty training, so she goes with me to the bathroom every time just so I can make a huge deal about it. She still asks me if she can wipe my butt like a baby just about every time.

2. Quit licking the window.


If someone ever figures out the connection between kids and licking things, let me know. Windows, tables, cars, chalk – just a few of the things I’ve caught one of our kids licking. The list goes on and on.

3. No, that feminine hygiene pad is not a sticker.


This is one of those moments when I wish I had a candid camera. Our oldest walked out of the bathroom with a pad on her forehead saying she was so happy for her sticker. We let her walk around like that until she went to bed. No shame.

4. The mail lady doesn’t need to see your panties.


Personally, I love cute underwear. I remember in high school being so excited to get a job, just so I could get cute underwear. It was almost like cute underwear gave me some unknown confidence to get me through the day. Unfortunately, our girls have inherited the cute underwear gene. Every time we are outside and in panties, our oldest has the incessant need to let the mail lady know that she’s wearing cute panties.

5. Put the spider down.


Or the roly poly, worm, bird feather, ant, fly, etc. My kids love picking up everything. Part of me is fascinated by their lack of fear for insects, while the other part of me is screaming for the hand sanitizer.

6. The store doesn’t let me buy things when you ugly cry.

This is the line that comes out of my mouth when one of the girls starts throwing a fuss in the store. I’ve been known to walk out of the store with absolutely nothing, leaving my cart full of stuff in a random aisle, due to my kids having meltdowns. This line works just about every time and works in a matter of minutes.

7. Princesses don’t poop on themselves.


Two things: potty training and bribery.

8. Little Mermaid only comes out in the day time.


There was a brief period where The Little Mermaid ruled our home. From the time our oldest got up for the day until she went to bed, she breathed the sea life. She wanted red hair, the dress, swimming with the fish – she wanted it all. Eventually I told her that the movie doesn’t work at night.

9. Dog food does not belong in your mouth.

Pretty self-explainable. I’m sure that there are generations of parents that have said this to their children.

10. These are my boobies.


I never actually thought this would be a conversation to have with anyone, especially a child. However, there is a difference in a breastfed child and a bottle fed child. Choose your battles wisely. I am still telling our almost two year old that my boobies are mine and to leave them alone.

11. I’ve never been so happy to see you poop.

You'll say this too once your newborn has gone several days without pooping. You'll be so exhausted from lack of sleep, your ears will be ringing from constant screaming and all you'll want is a little relief for your baby.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

My favorite Editor was feeling under the weather yesterday. All I wanted was to make her a vegan iced matcha latte. With distance forbidding it, I instead decided to write up this quick, easy recipe. I made it to be vegan and organic for optimal health benefits.

Matcha green tea is made from grounded green tea leaf and it comes with the most antioxidant boost ever.

Keep Reading... Show less

This coffee brand is USDA organic. Newman's Own Keurig coffee flavors are all organic. They have French Roast, Decaf, and a Special Blend. I'm in a committed relationship with the French Roast flavor. The smell alone from dispensing 1 cup of coffee sets a whole cafe jazz vibe.

I'm already relaxed when I smell the coffee all ready for dressing. The way I make my coffee is simple and sweet, literally. I add a spoon of organic brown sugar and a splash of organic almond vanilla milk. This cup of coffee has changed my life forever. I have never been so productive in my life and I truly believe it's because the coffee is organic.

Keep Reading... Show less

These organic, cruelty-free skincare products are great for hot, sweaty summers. I use them every day, so you will find my honest opinion about them all. I highly recommend using organic products because they are least likely to be harmful to your body.

This may seem like an extra step when it comes to your beauty routine, but it's really easy. These 5 products could be the start of your next beauty venture.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

These 5 Black Handbag Designers Should Be On Every Accessory Lover's Radar

With the push to support more Black-owned businesses, we've put together a list of Black owned handbag designers.

Ever since the current upheaval of societal silence happening in the country caused by the #BlackLivesMatter movement, there has been a bigger push for people to support Black-owned businesses.

Granted, there are a lot fo Black-owned businesses to support, it just takes time to find them. With that being said, fashion is a sector, just like any sector really, in a culture that still has people of color calling out for more diversity.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Feel A Lil' Better: Because Therapy Dogs Aren't Just Cute, They're Working

Your weekly wellness boost from Odyssey.

No matter how good (or bad) you'd describe your health, one thing is for sure: a little boost is ALWAYS a good idea. Whether that's reading a new, motivating book, or listening to a song that speaks to your soul, there are plenty of resources to help your health thrive on any given day.

There are many different ways people overcome obstacles in their lives. Thankfully, the stigma surrounding therapy is slowly (but surely) slipping away and we're opening up about our problems and needs. For some, a good workout is just as relaxing. Others are learning how meditation can be a helpful tool in their mental health journey.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

Naya Rivera Is Missing, And She Deserves SO Much More Than Being Labeled 'Big Sean's' Ex'

We are all sending prayers to Naya Rivera hoping she finds them so we can find her.

I woke up this morning looking to find Naya Rivera's name trending No. 1 on Twitter. I was reading all of everyone's prayers wishing to find her so she can be reunited with her baby boy who is only 4 years old.

Naya's son's name is Lord and the entire collective is hoping the Lord is with him right now. I'm a firm believer in the Fear of God, I hope all of Naya's love is protecting Lord right now.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments