pho·bi·a, noun: an extreme or irrational fear of or aversion to something.

Reading about or knowing what a phobia is is one thing, but actually having a phobia is life-altering. Your phobia could just show up one day or develop after a series of events, but nothing will ever prepare you for the toll it will take on your everyday existence.

If you have a phobia like I do, you've probably experienced these all at least once.

1. People laughing at or questioning your phobia only makes it worse.

"Thank you for invalidating a crippling part of my life bro."

"I've got all the friends I need right here. This is Penny and Chip, and say hello to Used Napkin."

3. It's the best when you find someone with the same phobia.

"Finally."

4. That one question you always get when you tell someone your fear.

"So, like, are you allergic or something?"

5. Yes, we understand that we are being irrational.

But there is literally nothing we can do about it

6. And we get that you don't understand why we're so afraid.

It's OK that you're totally stumped and don't get why we won't go into a butterfly pavilion or an aquarium. You're better off that way. But that doesn't mean we're not terrified.

7. Giving personal pep-talks before a time when you know you're to be exposed to your worst nightmare.

"Yes, you can do this! You're not afraid anymore. I swear you aren't afraid...OK you are...but just don't show it. Please."

8. Those times when you're trying to be brave...

And probably failing (because they can definitely see you grinding your teeth or flinching subconsciously)

9. Everyone is always trying to calm you down after an episode.

"This isn't work-"

"Just breathe, it helps me relax in Yoga Class."

I swear to God.

10. Going a day without thinking about your phobia is rare.

and probably the best thing that has happened to you in a long time.

11. But at the end of the day you just want people to support you while letting you deal with your phobia.

Sure, advice and trouble shooting is great, but just having someone understand you and help you avoid (or face) your fear is the greatest thing ever. When people finally understand the severity of your fear without invalidating it and they finally listen to what you're saying without trying to solve everything, that's when the real healing begins.