You know when people try giving you advice for some sticky situation you're in and you try your best to believe them but what they tell you just doesn't really help? I was one of those people who gave the advice to others. I pretended like there was nothing I needed advice for and that my life was all sunshine and rainbows. Needless to say, it wasn't. I was hurting, I was stressed, and sometimes I even felt lonely. After high school, though, I realized I was drained and that I needed to prioritize myself, my body, and my mind. I needed to focus on me. After high school, I made a promise to myself that I would strive to put myself before others every day. I would make the choice to better myself so that I could then focus on being there for others. It's been over three years since I made that promise, and I'm here to tell you that it was not easy, it was not fun, and it is not over. But I did learn a lot about myself and learned a lot of those life lessons that people used as advice way back when. Those pieces of advice finally hit me.
1. You are not alone.
No matter what you're going through, there is someone out there who is experiencing the exact same thing. There are people who came before you who experienced the same things and yes, they survived. You are never ever alone.
2. Self-love and self-care are ongoing processes.
Loving yourself is not a single act. It is not a single choice you make. It's a series of choices every day, good or bad. It's not easy, but I promise it's worth it.
3. You can't love others until you love yourself.
I never believed this. I felt like it didn't apply to me. But the truth is, you can't go on forever loving yourself less than you love someone else. It just doesn't work.
4. It's okay to not be okay.
Your feelings are valid, no matter how pathetic or desperate or stupid you think they are. Nobody can invalidate them because you can't help how you feel. Feelings cannot be "wrong". Allow yourself not to be okay. Allow yourself to be down.
5. Other people do not have the power to make choices for you.
You are the only person who should be making decisions for you. It is your life. You are your own person. You can ask for others' opinions, but they are only opinions, not the answer.
6. Nor do they have the right to tell you what's best for you.
Only you can. You should never feel like you're giving other people control over you. When that happens, you will have to reclaim ownership, and that can be difficult. Avoid that situation by keeping control over your life and surrounding yourself with people who encourage you to be a better version of yourself.
7. Or how to live your life.
You choose. Take ownership of your decisions. If you feel like you chose the wrong thing, it's okay to admit that and choose something else. Life is about making mistakes and learning from them.
8. You are stronger than you think.
I struggled to believe this one as well. Sometimes everything going around you makes you blind to your strength. I'm here to encourage you to try not to lose sight of it. It's what keeps you going even in your weakest moments.
9. Beauty is not just physical.
Physical beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, and colors. But that's not the only form of beauty that exists; your physical appearance is not the only thing to you. There's intelligence, personality, hobbies, talents, and so much more that contributes to beauty. You are beautiful. It may take time to believe that, but someday you will see it too.
10. Life is really f*cking hard.
It just is. Life sucks sometimes, but it can also be really really beautiful. If you haven't seen it yet, just give it time.
11. But you can and will get through it.
There's nothing more empowering than overcoming an obstacle that seemed impossible from the start. And you'd be amazed at your own strength if it was measurable. If you believe in yourself, you will be capable of anything.