Each and every day, we as humans are growing stronger and smarter through the experiences we have in life. We are just about eight months into 2018 and I can admit that I have had the craziest yet most beneficial year of my life in terms of growing as a person. Here are 11 important things I have learned this year so far:

1) Therapy can be helpful.

I had a wave of depression strike me after being broken up with (the day before valentine's day) by the guy I had been dating for two years. The breakup was hard enough to grasp because we had promise rings, plans to move together next year, and two pets together. On top of the breakup, I came to find that he had been cheating on me with a girl he proceeded to become official with 3 days after dumping me, engaged to three months later, and will be marrying next month. I found myself stuck in bed for days on end with no motivation for anything and soon realized I needed help and I ended up in therapy for 2.5 months. It was super beneficial, and therapy really helped me heal and grow as a person.

2) "Exclusive" relationships are bullshit.

I became exclusive with a guy I really liked, and he claimed to really like me back, but we never became official—only exclusive. This seems like it would be fine, but really it was difficult and, in a way, painful to go through because there was some commitment, but not to the full extent. It was confusing, especially when he'd leave me on read for days on end, and ultimately not healthy. You are either not in a relationship or in a relationship—nothing in between.

3) The hook-up culture is overrated.

What is the point in hooking up? To just have fun and then it's done? To up a number that really means nothing in life? What ever happened to developing a real connection with someone and having some kind of intimacy along with passion? What's so wrong with commitment? I came to find that constantly letting people use you just for hookups and then they're gone is dehumanizing. I am not a toy, you are not a toy, we all need to have more self-respect for ourselves and not let others use us.

4) Your reputation doesn't actually have any value.

This was one of the hardest lesson I had to learn, yet the most rewarding. My reputation at my old university was quickly tarnished because of rumors and shit talking spread by my old sorority. With a ruined reputation, I was scared to go in public. I let the fact that I had a bad reputation ruin my self-image, self-esteem, and my mental health. I soon came to question what really is a reputation? I realized a reputation is just the way others perceive you when they don't really know you rather than who you ACTUALLY are. Why worry about your reputation when it is only based on rumors, assumptions, etc. and not based on facts and people actually getting to know you? Reputations have no actual value.

5) Don't rush relationships

I learned this one in a very hard way. I got into a relationship with a guy that I had only known in person for less than 24 hours, ended up basically living with him for a whole month, and then he left me without warning. This is what is known as a "crash and burn" relationships, and it is the most painful relationship breakup I've ever experienced. Why? Because we talked so much of the future in such a small amount of time, got our hopes up for what was to come, and everything went too fast that we burned out. It was painful, and I have since learned that it takes time to find out if you really want to date someone and to focus on the present rather than to plan for the future. If you plan for the future and things fall apart, you're left with those plans that will never be fulfilled and it'll suck.

6) Try new things, experience new places, and take risks.

This year I have stepped out of my comfort zone and have made many drastic changes to my life. One would be transferring to a brand-new school, moving to a city I know nobody in, cut my hair short when I swore id never do it again, etc. I have also begun to try new things, whether that be joining Air Force ROTC or leaving a job I had for three years to start working at a brand-new business. I have traveled to more places in the matter of a few months than I have the past few years and I have learned my way around new parts of the state I didn't think I'd ever really care about (yes CO Springs I'm looking at you). All of these things and more have helped me grow as a person and widen my life experiences.

7) Take time for yourself.

For three years I have been going to school full-time, working 20+ hours a week, and trying to balance a healthy life (social, mental, and physical health). Overtime I discovered I had been overworking myself and as a result I lost my motivation for everything, I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life anymore, and I didn't really know who I was anymore. As a result, I left my job and didn't work or do school for two months straight. I focused on me. Yes, it sucked not making a steady income, but I learned so much about myself and found what I wanted to do with my life—which was not business and was not doing a civilian job for the US Coast Guard. Instead I came to find I wanted to be an active duty member in the US Air Force doing a psychological job. I also found who I am and who I aspire to be during this time.

8) Crying is not a sign of weakness, it is strength.

Often times we as people do not like to cry because it makes us seem or feel like we are weak. You know what I found out? Holding in those tears don't help you overcome whatever it is that you are suffering with. In fact, letting those tears out will help you overcome it instead. Flowers can't grow without rainfall, just like you cannot grow without those vulnerably emotional times. It is good and healthy to cry.

9) Accept the things you cannot change.

A lot of unexpected and unwanted change has hit me this year so far. I have a tendency to go into denial and pretend like everything is fine, when really it isn't. It's always been hard for me to accept drastic changes in life. I learned the concept of serenity this year thanks to my father. I cannot change what is/has happened; I can only accept it. Learning to accept things I cannot change has led me to seeing the world differently, with a more positive approach.

10) Do what makes you happy

A lot of times we are scared that the things that make us happy will cause people to judge us negatively or make fun of us. I used to be afraid of what others thought of the things I love, but this year I have learned to just do me and if someone doesn't like that and brings me down for it, they don't matter to me. If going to the same tour six different times in five different states makes me happy, then that's what I'm going to do—whether you think the artist is stupid or spending my money on traveling is stupid. I'm doing something that makes me happy and enjoy life.

11) You can't stop people from leaving.

It is said that one of the most heartbreaking things in life is when someone you care so much for and have so many memories with decides that you're no longer worthy of being in their life. Losing someone you were close to is like mourning the death of someone that is still alive. I'll admit that I have lost some people this year I never imagined leaving my life and that I begged to stay in my life. But what good is begging someone to stay in your life when they obviously don't care to stick around anymore? If someone wants to leave and doesn't put in any effort to stay, let them leave. No matter how painful it is. You cannot stop people from leaving your life.