When you were young, do you remember telling friends and family how much you wanted to grow up to be a princess? Maybe you wanted to be a cowboy astronaut? Perhaps you even wanted to grow up to be a super hero. Yeah, adulthood and life hit pretty hard when you realize career choices are not as exciting as your imagination lead you to believe. I may not have grown up to be a princess or super hero, but there are definitely a few jobs I wish were real. Fantasy aside, there are several jobs I can think of that would beneficial not only to my childhood dreams but also to reality and society.
Here are 11 jobs we wish were actually real:
1. Mermaid
Now, this one is technically a real job. If you look hard enough and are lucky enough to live on a coast or near a very "beachy" area, you can take classes to become a real mermaid. I have looked and I am not one of the fortunate ones to live close to where they hold classes. I would give nearly anything to become a mermaid. Le sigh.
2. Pirate
First a foremost, pirates still exist in some countries and are dangerous. Obviously when I say I'd like to become a pirate, I mean the romanticized ones like Jack Sparrow and William Turner from Pirates of the Carribbean. I guess the closet you can get to becoming a pirate is either join the marines or navy or become a pirate for kids' parties.
3. Professional Title Giver
This one I've had up my sleeve for awhile. There was a time in high school and college where I'd read friends' and colleagues' papers and their titles would be awful. I am very anal about titles. Let's be real, we judge books by their covers AND their titles. If it has a boring title, who would genuinely want to read it? If you add a clever pun, chances are you could broaden your horizons and get more of an audience. This job would entail workers to read articles, books, etc. and help the author edit and create their title.
4. Professional Student
This job would require you to take certain classes and various universities (you could "choose your major") and analyze the class. At the end of the semester, you could work with the professor to discuss how to make the class more interesting. Yes, this job may undermine professors and adjuncts, but it would be meant for the college to get an idea of what works and what doesn't AND to help the professor outline their syllabus better. I, for one, would absolutely love sitting in a classroom all day and get paid to learn.
5. Stay at Home Parent
I know there are plenty of stay at home parents - well, maybe not as many as there once were - but this should be considered a job too. I am not a mother, so I can merely sympathize with all they need to get done in a day. However, it would be a pretty sweet gig to be a professional stay at home parent. I wouldn't know how to go about the logistics of payment and such, but c'mon, being a parent or caretaker is a full time job whether you get paid or not.
6. Line Dance Choreographer
I know, I know. The 90s were such a long time ago, but I feel there hasn't been a new "Cha Cha Slide" in some time. Sure we have the Whip and the Nay Nay. I say we bring back some line dances though. As a teacher and chaperoning school dances, it's as if no one knows how to dance anymore. Where's the Cotton Eye Joe? Where's the Electric Slide. *slumps down into the chair* Aaaand I'm dating myself. Oh boy. I still vote for artists to add more choreography to their songs.
7. Facebook Stalker
You know you've done this. You know you've done this well. Now, imagine getting paid to creep on people's Facebook accounts. There are a millions reasons why this can't be a real job, but just imagine. Well, I suppose the closest thing to this profession would be a legitimate detective.
8. Spirit Realtor
One of my greatest fears is buying a house. Why? Ghosts. I am not trying to buy a house and finding out there is someone or something already living there. I am not trying to be another Amityville Horror or Poltergeist. No, thank you. That being said, when you buy a house, there should be a medium or someone there to give you the history of the house and make sure you can handle living with ghosts - or not. If you don't mind the spirits, good for you. Then, you buy that house. If not, you keep on looking. Sorry for those skeptics and nonbelievers out there, but I don't need any more stressors in my life than I already have.
9. Trivia/Quizzo Night Enthusiast
This would be the perfect job for those people who know a lot about nothing. If you are someone who knows random facts and information, this would be the job for you. I wouldn't mind being paid to do Quizzo nights. Perhaps a part of that job could be to help create questions for Quizzo. Either way, this could be fun. Finally, putting that useless and random knowledge to use.
10. Bulletin Board Designer
As a teacher, I find very little time to creatively and artistically design my board. I may have the ideas, but trying to put them on my board is a whole other feat. If someone could come in and look at my "designs", but they put it up and put my ideas into actions, I would be so grateful. It would save me so much time and effort. Not to mention I am not the most crafty teacher out there.
11. Test Grader
Having a large classroom (a class of 33) gets tiring. Grading their tests take hours, especially if there is a writing portion where I check their grammar, sentence structure, spelling, and so on. It would be the biggest help ever if someone could come in from time to time and help me grade all of my tests. If only.