Well, it's finally here. The week you've been dreading since the semester began: finals week. Get ready for operating on an insanely small amount of sleep, stuffing your brain full of last minute memorizations and wanting to murder everyone in your path. Sometimes it feels like some people just don't understand how bad finals week can be, right? Like, these horror movies are nothing compared to what we have to go through.
Here are 11 famous horror movies that are definitely not as bad as finals week:
1. "Friday the 13th"
Oh, you had to go to a summer camp? Watch some kids, hang out at the lake, have weird cabin sex with Kevin Bacon? What a hard time. I'll be more scared of the upcoming Friday, May 13th, because I have two finals that you can bet your ass will pop up faster than Jason's corpse in the lake.
2. "The Blair Witch Project"
C'mon, guys, just get a GPS and calm the hell down. Maybe if you tried asking this so-called witch for directions, she'd help you out. Maybe she was just pissed cause she heard you calling her some old hag who kidnaps kids. Also, do you know how much I'd prefer to be living in the woods right now? I might. I might go to the woods. Forget college.
3. "Nightmare on Elm Street"
Okay, this one actually makes me mad. You're afraid of sleeping? Do you know the last time I slept? Me neither, bucko. Freddy Krueger can send those press on claws right through my heart if it means I get to actually sleep at night. Also, I have four essays due this week. Death by Krueger would probably give me an automatic 4.0.
4. "The Ring"
While I'm living in the woods, I may also go and climb myself down that well with Samara and pull the cover over it. No one can make me do my finals down here. It's nice.
5. "Rosemary's Baby"
God, your apartment is nice. Like, fine, the whole devil baby thing is a little inconvenient, but you can afford an apartment like that in New York City? You have no real problems. I'll be lucky if I can afford a nice box to live in after I fail these finals and have to leave school.
6. "The Shining"
Actually, you know what? "The Shining" is probably the same amount of bad as finals. That scene where Jack Nicholson is typing the same sentence over and over and over is me trying to reach the essay word limit at 11:58 p.m.
7. "Silence of the Lambs"
Honestly, Hannibal Lector is a genius. I would ask him to tutor me in exchange for just about anything. Buffalo Bill can chill with his lotion a bit longer.
8. "Jaws"
I wish I could put all my homework on a surfboard and send it out to sea so Jaws would devour it all, thinking it was a person. Those sailors didn't know how lucky they had it.
9. "The Exorcist"
Fun fact: a lot of the exorcism scenes were filmed in the basement of Keating Hall here at Fordham. So, like, this is already our reality. Also, do you think if I were possessed then the demonic entity would have to take my finals instead of me? Cause that's totally fine.
10. "Carrie"
Listen up, kids. All proms suck. So yours had a little more blood, what of it? I wish I was at a dance, but no, I'm here writing a paper on Aristotle and the only thing bleeding is my heart.
11. "Paranormal Activity"
Oh, I'm so sorry your ghosts wake you up at night sometimes. I wake up every night during finals in a cold sweat thinking about how I'll have to explain my B- Anthropology Exam on my grad school applications in two years.