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If A Fuckboy Feeds You Any Of These 11 Lines, Honey, Save The Tears & Drop His Ass NOW

I lived through the tragedies so that you don't need to, too.

Jessica Jung

Jun 25, 2018

University of Michigan

1856

If A Fuckboy Feeds You Any Of These 11 Lines, Honey, Save The Tears & Drop His Ass NOW

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If there's one thing I learned about myself during my last two years of college, it's that I'm a magnet for fuckboys. And I'm not talkin' those weak ass refrigerator magnets. I'm talkin' the heavy-duty, can't-pull-it-apart-even-if-your-life-depended-on-it type sh*t.

At this point, I'm pretty sure "Ruin my life." is tattooed across my forehead. I've been to hell and back with some of these boys, but if there's one thing I know now, it's that if you ever receive any of these pathetic statements, you need to dump his ass before it's too late.

1. “Would you ever want to get back together?”

Giphy

HAHAHAHA are you f*cking serious? YOU broke up with ME... multiple times!

2. “I don’t deserve you.”

Giphy

This is the biggest cop out EVER. It's every boy in the world's way of saying, "I'm trying really hard to get you to break up with me so I don't seem like a dick."

3. "I have a girlfriend."

Giphy

How tragic is it that this line doesn't even phase me anymore when the guy finally decides to 'fess up?

4. Does absolutely nothing to show he cares “I care about you a lot.”

Giphy

Didn't anyone ever teach these fuckboys that actions speak louder than words? We're not stupid. Don't say sh*t you know you don't mean. It doesn't benefit either of us.

5. Alternatively, “You mean so much to me.”

Giphy

Uh huh. See above.

6. “She and I were on a break.”

Giphy

Yes, that was totally obvious from your daily conversations and her need to know where you were during this so-called break. Honestly, how dumb do guys think we are?

7. “I’m gonna miss you so much when you move back home.”

Giphy

OK, depending on your relationship with the boy, this could be a really nice thing to hear someone say. But often, it's also a filler statement, so take it with a grain of salt.

8. “I’m not really sure where she and I stand right now.”

Giphy

OK, then figure it out and let me know when you do???

9. “I wasn’t ignoring you. [Insert generic excuse/lie here.]”

Giphy

OK to be fair sometimes this is legit. But only like 25% of the time. And if it's becoming a repetitive thing, then girl, what the hell are you still doing talking to him?

10. Any time an Ex hits his line “We’re just friends.”

Giphy

Yup, heard that one before. Hell, we've all given that one before.

11. “I never use condoms, and I’ve been OK so far.”

Giphy

Does raw feel better? Yeah, of course. Am I ready for a child or an STI? Hell f*cking no. Wrap it up, bud.

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If A Fuckboy Feeds You Any Of These 11 Lines, Honey, Save The Tears & Drop His Ass NOW

I lived through the tragedies so that you don't need to, too.

1. “Would you ever want to get back together?”

2. “I don’t deserve you.”

3. "I have a girlfriend."

4. *Does absolutely nothing to show he cares* “I care about you a lot.”

5. Alternatively, “You mean so much to me.”

6. “She and I were on a break.”

7. “I’m gonna miss you so much when you move back home.”

8. “I’m not really sure where she and I stand right now.”

9. “I wasn’t ignoring you. [Insert generic excuse/lie here.]”

10. *Any time an Ex hits his line* “We’re just friends.”

11. “I never use condoms, and I’ve been OK so far.”

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There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

It's mandatory to have these conversations.

1. What do you do for a living?

2. What's your favorite color?

3. Do you have any siblings?

4. What's your favorite television show?

5. When is your birthday?

6. What's your biggest goal in life?

7. If you had three wishes granted to you by a genie, what would they be?

8. What's your favorite childhood memory?

9. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?

10. Are you a cat or a dog person?

11. Do you believe in a religion or any sort of spiritual power?

12. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be?

13. What is your ideal date night?

14. Who was/is your celebrity crush?

15. What's a good way to cheer you up if you're having a bad day?

16. Do you have any tattoos?

17. Can you describe yourself in three words?

18. What makes you the most nervous in life?

19. What's the best gift you have ever received?

20. What do you do to relax/have fun?

21. What are your priorities at this phase of your life?

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

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4. Does absolutely nothing to show he cares “I care about you a lot.”

10. Any time an Ex hits his line “We’re just friends.”

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