Growing up, I was lucky enough to be raised by an Italian mother. She is the most kindhearted, genuine, amazing woman I have ever known, and calling her my mom is such a blessing.
Besides how fabulous my mom is, she raised me in some classic Italian ways that seemed normal to me, but not to others. I was always confused when my friends’ houses were so much quieter than mine, or why there wasn’t a constant pot of pasta on the stove. These are the things that became second nature to me that were completely opposite for other kids my age. Here are the top 10 ways you know you were raised by an Italian mother.
1. Your voice knows two volumes: loud and louder
What is this “quiet” you speak of? Whisper? I don’t know her.
2. You can cook pasta backward with your eyes closed
Every pasta takes a different amount of time, and you know them more than you know yourself.
3. You have to be her child and her Geek Squad
Yes, Mom, there is a difference between a Facebook message and a Facebook wall post. No, Mom, you cannot post super personal messages on my wall.
4. It is literally impossible to talk without waving your hands around
I mean I have literally hit someone in the face before because I talk louder with my hands than my voice.
5. You give everyone a Panettone for Christmas
I’ve never even eaten a Panettone. I just know it’s the proper Christmas present for literally anyone walking the face of this planet.
6. You’ve never known better hospitality
Heck yeah, I had sleepovers at my house on school nights. Heck yeah, I’ve fit my entire Italian family into my house. Heck yeah, my mom does my laundry when I come home from school.
7. You’ve been yelled at in English and Italian
You think it’s scary when your mom yells at you? Try getting it in TWO languages.
8. You have NEVER gone hungry
Never. If you even mention potential hunger in the next few hours, there will be a full meal in front of you immediately. Also, your friends aren’t allowed to leave this household hungry under any circumstances whatsoever.
9. Dean Martin was practically your dad
I know all the words to “That’s Amore” and “Volare” so well, I’ve sung them in my dreams.
10. You drink espresso at like 10 p.m.
This is just how it goes. Espresso comes after dinner for some reason. Who needs sleep anyway?