“Be the best,” my dad murmurs as he’s hugging me goodbye before I leave for school. “Be the best,” my grandmother reminds me after I tell her my plans for the upcoming weekend. “Be the best,” my aunts and uncles warn (after taking hundreds of pictures) as I go off to my high school prom.

“Be the best” sounds like the most pretentious and ambiguous piece of advice one could get, but it’s not meant like that at all. We all know that in my family “Be the best,” means “Give it all you’ve got and do it like a lady.”

“Wow... Tough family,” you may be thinking. In a sense, you’re right. But it’s not just toughness… It’s much more than that. It’s tough love. This tough love made me the person I am today and constantly challenges me to be the best version of that person I can be.

Maybe you can relate. I can’t be the only one with a family who expects the best of me.

I’m not going to lie, these expectations are the source of a lot of stress. But they’re also the source of just the same amount of grit. After all, in this day and age, a lady’s got to have grit.

What does being a lady actually mean? I’ve found that it’s not about the brand of clothes you wear, how you fix your hair, or how ~trendy~ your lifestyle is. It’s nothing shallow, and sometimes that can be hard to find in a person or even in ourselves. Being a lady is about how you treat others around you, no matter who they are or where they’re from. Being a lady is about how you react in times of trial and temptation. Being a lady is about having your priorities straight. Being a lady is being aware of all these things and more.

The following is a list of reminders and tips that have helped me stay on the path of lady-ship(?) and I hope you all find them as useful as I do!

1. Stay classy.

“I’ve never seen elegance go out of style.” – Sonya Teclai

2. Keep your head, heels, and standards high.

“Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.” – Mandy Hale

3. Proper grammar is so important.

“The greater part of the world’s troubles are due to questions of grammar.” – Michel de Montaigne, The Complete Essays

4. Never dumb yourself down for anyone, especially a boy.

“Do not exchange your dignity for popularity.” – Dr. Steve Maraboli

5. Being single doesn’t mean you’re not good enough, it means you know what you deserve and you’re willing to wait for it.

“Being brave enough to be alone frees you up to invite people into your life because you want them and not because you need them.” – Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

6. Confidence is the best accessory.

“You can never be overdressed or overeducated.” – Oscar Wilde

7. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

“There are few things that are more beautifully infectious than true kindness. It spreads like a magnificent wildfire.” – Keith Wynn

8. Eye contact and a firm handshake will get you far in life.

“The most important things in those first few seconds are, basically, a firm handshake and a smile, good eye contact and really paying attention.” – Pat Schaumann

9. Watch your language.

“If one corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought.” – George Orwell

10. Mind your manners.

“Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.” – Eric Hoffer

Even though I’ve only been alive for a short 19 years, I know, through experience, how important these are to keep in mind. Trust me, it’ll be hard to do because sometimes it seems as if society is working against every effort of women striving to be ladies. But, girls, I know we’ve got that grit. I know we can prove to the world that genuine ladies still exist and we’re ready to “be the best” we can be.