I can guarantee you the age we admitted to our parents we knew Santa wasn’t real, varied. I mean, I knew for quite some time before I told my parents I knew that Santa was NOT a jolly old man who left some of my gifts. My mom says to this day, it was sad for her once I realized Santa wasn’t real. However, she said it would’ve been easier to end the charade if I would’ve fessed up sooner. Sorry Mom! So what are the first 10 thoughts that come across a young child’s mind after realizing that jolly old St. Nick is nothing more than a wives tale to make your childhood a little more exciting?...

1. Wait, so you mean the hoof noises I heard on the roof weren’t reindeer?! It was probably my dad who would go up in the attic and move around boxes. Sigh.
2. So all of those Christmas cookies we baked? No wonder my dad would always have so much to say about which kinds the family made. He not only wanted his favorites at Christmas dinner, but people, my parents wanted their favorite cookies because after all, we had to make “Santa” the best cookies in the world.
3. And the milk…? I always wondered how the milk would still be cold by the time Santa arrived at my doorstep. Wait, so I guess that means after my mom and dad put out the presents, they gulped down the milk. Eh, still cold Ma?
4. And the reindeer treats a.k.a, trail mix left outside for the reindeer…who ate that? The squirrels?
5. So you mean to tell me, I’m taught not to lie and tell Mommy and Daddy everything I do from the time I wake up til I go to bed, yet, you people have been lying to me my whole life…? Thanks Ma. Thanks Dad.
6. But as they say, it’s not lying. It helps bring a smile to your young child’s face. It’s something for them to believe in and look forward to. They can write a letter to Santa. They can leave him a little token of cookies and milk. Hey, it’s a nice storyline. Not a lie, right?
7. So if Santa isn’t real, does that mean…no! So the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy must all be a farce too! Wow Mom and Dad, thanks! I mean, I appreciate the gifts, candy, and money, but why can’t you just say it was you? I would get freaked out thinking there was a huge upright bunny walking around town.
8. And that. That makes sense now. How does anyone possibly think that one man could go across the whole world in one day? Woah! Like how? Oh, and also, how does he fly in the sky with a sleigh? I mean, unless the sleigh is a Boeing 747.
9. Another thing Mom! We don’t even have a chimney! How did I think that Santa could get in our house? That’s right. When I asked, adults would always say he left them outside the door.
10. Okay, okay. Because five-year-old me totally believed an old man could fly around the sky in a levitated sleigh, but he would then leave them outside the door…? Right, right. After all, stranger danger. Santa can’t come in. We don’t know him. That’s why we lock the door. Santa can’t come in. We don’t know him Mommy….

So there’s that. What a young child and later an adult would reflect on after they realize Santa isn’t real. It was a nice tradition to believe in growing up. Writing a note to Santa and setting out his cookies and milk was nice, but I guess it would’ve been a lot easier to know that Santa was sitting right in my living room. Either my mom or my dad, you know, they alternated each year!