College professors come in so many different types. Some are nice and bubbly and very easy to like, and some are more cold-hearted than Cruella de Vil. There's no doubt that your professor can make or break your experience in class. But whether the professor is your best friend or your worst nightmare, there are some situations you have with every professor. Here are some things I wish I could say to my professor (without getting kicked out of class.)
1. When the professor scolds you after you've been in the bathroom for a more than acceptable amount of time.
What I wish I could say: "No, I didn't just go to the bathroom for 30 minutes. I just couldn't stand to listen to your monotone voice anymore."
2. When the professor starts complaining to the class about assignments not getting turned in on time.
What I wish I could say: "Well maybe if you stopped sending those Blackboard emails every five minutes, I would have time to finish the stupid paper you assigned."
3. When you go to class and all you do is turn in an assignment and leave.
What I wish I could say: "This is bulls***, I got out of bed for this."
4. When the professor is staring at you during the lecture.
What I wish I could say: "Stop giving me judging looks. Yes, I do still have my wristband on from the last night, and yes, I might still be a little lit."
5. When the professor jokes to me about how it always looks like I'm not wearing pants.
What I wish I could say: "Yes, I wear big T-shirts, and yes, I am wearing pants underneath. No, your joke isn't funny."
6. When the professor notices that your big T-shirt has Greek letters on it.
What I wish I could say: "I know you now think I'm less of a student because I am in a sorority, but contrary to your belief, I am very smart and so is everyone else in my sorority. You, my friend, are rude for obviously judging me."
7. When the professor comments on the fact that you're wearing a hat but it's cloudy outside.
What I wish I could say: "Thanks for pointing that our Professor Obvious. I haven't washed my hair in two days. Leave me alone, and go annoy someone else."
9. When the class laughs out loud at the professor's really stupid joke.
What I wish I could say: "Your jokes aren't funny. We're just laughing in hopes that you'll like us more and curve the test."
10. And finally, when the professor talks extremely fast and changes the slides every 30 seconds.
What I wish I could say: "Excuse me, but can you please slow the hell down? Thanks."