10 Things Depressed People Wish You Knew

10 Things Depressed People Wish You Knew

It's not because we're "not trying hard enough" — and it is not glamorous.

1. It's not because of other people.

Depression is a knot in MY heart that, although may have been made heavier by the strain of bad relationships, has resided there for quite awhile. What I need from people I love is for them to understand that they are not the reason why I am depressed. What they do and do not do does not make or break my depression.

2. And...there is almost never a “reason.”

I definitely know my spells of blues are often set off by certain triggers... But ultimately these triggers are not what cause my depression, or necessarily what I am depressed about. I honestly usually do not know what causes it. It just is.

3. Tasks that should be easy and painless are exhausting.

Getting ready for work feels like climbing a fucking mountain, and actually going to work, well, that's Mt. Everest. Going out? That gets old pretending to have a good time, when I'm really just fucking tired. But I go out anyway, because I must try.

4. My depression affects every area of my life.

It affects my relationships, my family, my jobs, my grades, my weight...

I have to make a conscious effort not to push the people I love away because I feel so undeserving of them...That would not be fair to them or to me.

Work and school are made increasingly difficult... the ability to concentrate is watered down by the dark cloud over my head.

I constantly gain and lose weight because of my change in eating habits. Sometimes I do not eat enough, sometimes I eat way too much.

5. I am always on a pursuit for temporary fixes and distractions.

This is not necessarily a bad thing. I have met some neat people on my pursuits. I have had some fun times on my pursuits.

And in these pursuits of temporary happiness, a sense of hope often arises within me that perhaps I'll find something a little more permanent.

The problem is that I usually don't.

I want to fix myself independently. Maybe this is a problem.

6. I always feel heavy and tired.

I am sluggish and slow. I feel like I'm treading through water all day.

7. Things that are normally important to me don't seem to matter. This breaks my heart.

I used to love so many things. I know somewhere deep inside of me that I still love these things...but with my depression, I literally just do not care. News that should be exciting and wonderful gives me no reaction. It seems that I am always disinterested and distant. Contrary to how it may appear, this hurts me and I WANT to care. I try to care.

8. It kicks me when I'm up.

When things seem to be getting better, I am almost seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, my depression sneaks in again. It is something I must constantly fight in order to try and maintain that little bit of happy.

9. It makes me bizarrely emotional to see other people happy, because I so intensely miss the beauty of happiness.

Every time I go to church and see a cute little family or a happy old lady, I literally weep once I get into my car after mass- I sob...ugly cry, drool, snot, the whole nine yards. I am not sad because it is sad, I am sad because it is beautiful, I am sad because I remember when seeing such things gave me such a profound amount of joy.

10. Contrary to how it may sometimes appear, I am ALWAYS trying to be happy.

Sometimes, the bare minimum is more than enough...I must acknowledge the bare minimum's strength and sparkle, because it is a step above nothing which is where giving up boldly resides.

And sometimes, when the annoying girl next to me is complaining that she got a B on ONE fucking test, I just have to breathe and pat myself on the back that I even WENT to class that day.

And sometimes, even when I want no one to look at me, I demand that they do (via red lipstick and cute shoes) because I used to think that I deserved it.

And sometimes, when I feel very dark and think "what's the fuckin point anyway?" when it's the time of night where I'm supposed to take my medicine, I swallow that Zoloft whole.

And sometimes, even when I've found that it is redundant and I would rather do just about any other activity, I make myself go to therapy anyway.

I am ferociously working on finding the light.
"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists... it is real... it is possible... it's yours.” - Ayn Rand, "Atlas Shrugged"
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3 Things You Should And Shouldn't Do For Your Friends with Depression

More common than not, you encounter those who struggle with depression, and there are some things you should do, and other things you shouldn't do.

Today, many people have depression and anxiety. It is not uncommon to meet or be friends with somebody who does happen to have a mental health problem. There are many things that you should, and shouldn't do when in these situations.

Here is what you SHOULD NOT do.

1. Do not treat them like they are some delicate flower.

They are human, and therefore they realize they make mistakes. If they mess up, tell them. Obviously, do not go guns blazing and start yelling, but like you would with anybody else, you just have a talk with them and tell them what they did.

2. When they are going through a really tough time, never, ever ask them certain questions.

"Are you taking your medicine?" or "Are you going to be alive when you go home?" Just like anybody else, those that suffer with depression, struggling is something that happens sometimes. While things hit harder at times for them, never just assume they are emotional because they are not taking their medicine. And unless they are saying suicidal things, then you should never ask if they are going to live through a situation. It is understandable if they are experiencing a rough time and might need help, but simply jumping to those conclusions are more destructive then helpful.

3. Never call them crazy.

For those that have struggled coming to terms with their mental health issues, it completely tears them down.

Instead of those, try these 3 things.

1. Support them in what they are doing.

They know them better than you do, and know how to handle themselves and cope effectively. Each person has their way of dealing with life, and if somebody needs to do something their own way, let them.

2. Ask them how they are doing.

Not in that destructive way that I mentioned above, but in the way that you would for anybody else. Seriously, those struggling with mental health are normal people.

3. Love them.

Everyone needs love. No matter what, love them.

The take away here is those struggling with mental illness should not be treated any differently, but like a decent human being. If you have a friend or family member struggling with something, just love and support them. Yes, they have their triggers, and are on their journey to becoming okay, but they are just people.

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How To Conquer Seasonal Depression

Distract yourself.

It’s smack dab middle of winter, and for a lot of people, this time usually brings on depression due to lack of vitamin D. I know because I go through it myself. So, here are some tips to conquer seasonal depression this winter.

First of all, find a new hobby. It has to be something that you really enjoy and that can take your mind off things for a while. For example, mine is playing my ukulele. I started playing in July and absolutely love it, it’s my escape from reality. So whether it’s playing an instrument, working out, playing a sport, etc, you should find something to keep you entertained when you feel stir crazy from being cooped up inside all day.

In addition, who says you can’t go outside in the winter? You can go for walks, go sledding, go ice skating, or whatever else you may want to do. Sure, the doses of vitamin D are a lot lower in the winter because we don’t get as much sunlight but it’s better to have some vitamin D than none at all! Even that little bit of outdoors time can significantly change your mood.

Also, be sure to surround yourself with people. Some people tend to push others away during their experience with seasonal depression, but more often than not it’s better to have others around to cheer you up when you’re feeling down. You can hang with your family, or some friends and just do whatever to try to keep your mind off of the sadness you’re feeling. Don’t be afraid to reach out to people and let them know what you’re going through either because if they truly care about you, they will want to help in whatever way that they can.

Lastly, from the girl who knows, the best advice in general that I can give is to keep yourself busy. Usually my depression flares up at night when I’m laying in bed trying to sleep because I’m not doing anything and my mind starts to wander. So now I try to write a little bit or read a book to keep my mind occupied. Maybe you can try to do the same.

I hope my little bit of advice helps some of you out there. Just remember that you’re not alone, and if no one else, I’m always here to talk.

All my love,

Kamille


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