Middle school is a horrendous place for most of us. We block it out once we get to high school and burn all the yearbook photos of us with our braces, and blue eyeshadow, and acne, and hope the reminder of our awkward goth phase never comes to light ever again. It's the time when puberty rules and your body feels completely foreign. Parents try to address puberty best they can but it's an awkward conversation no one wants to be a part of. School makes you sit through awful sex ed classes where you can't leave until you shout "PENIS!" to "prove you're comfortable with anatomy."

Yes, because a teacher-sanctioned version of the penis game means I'm not utterly mortified by what I've seen. Thank heaven for that!

But, teachers and parents miss some things, either because they weren't an issue when they went through puberty, or they just forgot it in the awkwardness of the moment. In any case, if I could write a letter to myself or any emerging woman, here are ten things I would say:

1. WEAR DEODORANT

This is not optional. This is not one of those "if I can't smell it no one can" situations. THEY CAN SMELL YOUR B.O. Just take the two seconds and put it on, but wait until after you've put on your shirt to avoid getting white marks all over the shirt.

2. STOP. THINKING. ABOUT. LOVE.

Yes, one day you hope you'll find your true love (though college prospects are proving to be just as fruitless) BUT IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN IN MIDDLE SCHOOL SO STOP.

3. Yes, you're weird

But...so is everyone else. No one really knows what they're doing - if they did they would not have chunky purple highlights. So, enjoy the blue eyeshadow and don't be afraid to test your limits, you're the only one that will remember.

4. Don't shave your stomach

Don't. You think it's a good idea because, like every mammal, you are now beginning to grow body hair and the Victoria's Secret model has a hairless stomach so you should too! NO. DON'T SHAVE IT. Because once you shave IT GROWS BACK THICKER AND DARKER and the next thing you know you're in your room with tweezers wishing for the days when your stomach hair was just pale peach fuzz that no one but you could even see.

5. Stop worrying about your boobs

Either they'll grow or they won't and agonizing over it will not make them grow. No, you're not proportional and years later you still won't be, but that's okay. No one is truly proportional. Love your body and give it a break.

6. Tampons will not kill you

Yes, they are terrifying but they will not kill you so long as you don't leave them in for three days straight.

7. Don't worry if you're a little chubby

You're still growing and your body is still maturing. Will a run hurt? No. But don't start dieting and googling how to lose weight.

8. Embrace the chubby cheeks

You're stuck with them. They're not going anywhere.

9. Flirt for once in your life!

Okay, no, love is not going to come in middle school, but do not shut yourself away and avoid male contact! Flirt. Again, no one will remember except you if it goes badly. Now is the time to practice! Because otherwise you'll be in college sitting next to a cute guy and when he says "I'm sure we'll be seeing more of each other" and give you *the look* you'll laugh because you have no idea what to say and then he won't talk to you again (I'm sorry Dillon).

10. Do something memorable

Because nothing is worse than looking back and realizing you don't remember anything except yelling penis in sixth grade and Heather getting hit with a discus. Join some clubs. Try drawing. Go outside of your comfort zone and grow. Your body is doing it physically, so push your mind and grow your personality.

Middle school years are rough. No one looks back and says "you know what time I really wish I could go back to? Middle school." It's a right of passage that you will live through. But you're going to spend three years there anyway, so you might as well make the most of them. And remember, always wear deodorant, and do not shave your stomach...or your unibrow...or your upper lip (you wax those last two.) Really all you need to shave are your legs and your armpits. Just stick to the basics for now.