1. You find yourself constantly explaining the game to others
Sometimes it’s your friends asking you because they genuinely want to know, and you have to remain calm when you explain what a safety is (in both respects). Sometimes you find they’re just trying to impress a boy, and you finally understand what having your work plagiarized must feel like.
2. Boys like to test your knowledge
“Name five players on the team.” “Do you even know who ____ is?” “Who even played in the Superbowl last year?” “Where is _______ team from?” “What was the color of the aglet on the shoelace of the fan they showed for .2 seconds on ESPN?” I can name all the starters, plus many of the backups, of course, I know who Ezekiel Elliot is. The Patriots beat the Falcons in the Superbowl last year. No, the Rams aren’t from St. Louis actually, they moved to Los Angeles. I don't interrogate you when you tell me you like to read- I just take your word for it like a normal human being.
3. After you name five players, they try showing off all their unasked for knowledge
If I wanted to listen to someone give me useless stats about the game, I would tune into Skip Bayless or watch Aikman and Buck commentate.
4. People are constantly asking you to bet on the games
They think they can cheat you out of a few bucks so they propose things such as, “Oh, you think the Packers are going to beat the Cowboys? Lol, five bucks say they obviously don’t!” Watch me gladly take your money.
5. You get emotionally attached to the players
When Eddie Lacy got traded you felt the pangs of heartbreak. When Donald Driver retired and you shed a tear. Other girls get invested in the characters of their favorite Netflix show; you fantasize about going to the game and watching your 45 boyfriends take the field.
6. When one of your favorite players gets injured it ruins your day, and none of your friends understand
J.J. Watt gets injured and your family texts your condolences, but your friends ask, “JJ who?” When Aaron Rodgers broke his collarbone, and Wisconsin collectively sank in spirit, you thought about how you would take his place in a heartbeat.
7. Jersey’s are expensive
While other girls contemplate whether or not to spend money on Lulu, you’re debating whether or not you should get a new Jersey. Not to mention the money, you’re constantly worried about whether or not it’ll get ruined in the wash (or before it even gets there by a salsa spill).
8.You miss out on some fun events because the game is on
You missed going to grab sushi, shopping at Urban, watching a movie, and apparently the best adventure all week. Shouldn't your friends know better than to schedule anything during the one block of time a week where you’ll be eating cheese and crackers and screaming at the TV?!
9. You’ve acquired the skill of cheering like a guy and you can’t turn it off
This includes the swearing, the yelling and physically jumping up out of your seat anytime anything remotely exciting happens. All your friends that aren't diehard fans are too embarrassed to be seen with you whilst football is playing on the screen.
10. The more you know about the end zone, the more familiar you are with the friend zone
When you can talk about football like one of the boys, you get treated like one of the boys. When you get treated like one of the boys, you get seen like one of the boys, which means you, unfortunately, know the friendzone all too well.