10 Things Depressed Individuals Need Their Loved Ones To Know
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Health and Wellness

10 Things Depressed Individuals Need Their Loved Ones To Know

Even though I push you away, I want you to choose me forever.

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10 Things Depressed Individuals Need Their Loved Ones To Know
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I've been there- constantly having to be there for someone that can't even be there for you. It's frustrating I get it. But, I've learned so much this past year when I realized that this "depressive episode" was so much more than just and "episode". Depression completely swallowed my entire life- and still to this day I feel like I don't know this person I'm living inside. I've realized that sometimes, I can't control the monster that comes out of me. I'm just bellowing in a deep pool of hurt, and I just need you to now some things before you leave me completely:

1. I am so sorry.

I'm mean sometimes, I'm so boring sometimes, and I cry a little too much for you to handle. I find myself using your tissue box up and not being able to put one back because I can't get my feet to touch the floor anymore. Sometimes, because I'm hurting so much, I find myself hurting you. Because at this point I am swallowed by the hurt from fourth grade when I was picked on because I had a huge red ring around my lips. It never goes away, and sometimes instead of crying, even more, I find it easier to let it out rather than bottle it up. I'm sorry, and I'll always be sorry.

2. I am trying really hard.

I know that sometimes my apologies aren't enough, and you just need me to instantly change. It's such a hard thing to do. You miss the old me right? The one where I could spend a night out partying and laughing..and now it all just seems like I'm pretending. You miss the nights that a sleepover was enough, and I could stay up past 3 am and laugh. But, now it seems like 11 am is the new midnight. I know you want me back, I'm trying. Just as much as you need me back, I need myself back. I'm trapped inside of someone I don't know either.

3. I just need space right now.

I get it, believe me. You're trying to help me, trying to be a shoulder to cry on. But, I promise you that right now it would be better for the both of us just to create space. I'm not mad at you, I promise. I just need to cool down and analyze the situation before I react. Sometimes it takes longer for me to think about the easy things. If you understand that I need a breather, the more I will value your respect and care. I need to breathe, in and out. I'll be fine, I promise.

4. I want to be there for you.

I know you want me to be your shoulder to cry one, just like you were there for me. But, sometimes I take on too much for me to handle. Like three other friend's issues that I'm currently taking care of, a family situation and three jobs. I get into an overload situation. I need you to know that I'm like a gas tank, I fill up in the morning but the more I am giving to handle, the more gas I let out. I need to be able to handle my own problems. Sometimes depression doesn't give me enough money to fill my tank. But, I promise I care, and I'm here to listen. I'm sorry if what I reply isn't enough. But realize that for now, it has to be.

5. I can't just "get over it".

This makes me so frustrated- there is no "over" to me. There will probably never be an "over". It is literally impossible to just get over the fact that you have depression. It just makes it completely obvious that you don't have any idea how I'm feeling. I'm in a pool of hurt, tears just horrible things- and I don't know how to swim. So I'm drowning in my own hurt and no matter how hard I try to fight back I can never win. It's so hard to win when you're boxing against depression. You must understand how powerful your mind is.

6. Sometimes I seriously just "don't know" what's hurting me.

I understand that "I don't know" isn't a valid answer to your question "What's wrong". I just honestly, don't know what is bothering me. But, I understand that it can be difficult to understand. Depression can be triggered by a life altering event, but sometimes people don't understand that it can also just be by not having a good day.

7. I really don't want to hurt you.

Depression is selfish. In my case, I seriously find that I push people away too much because I don't want to hurt them. Do I expect them to stay? Absolutely not, because I put myself in their shoes- I would leave if someone wanted me to, too. So I don't blame you- not even a little bit. Depression makes you feel guilty and makes you feel as if you're letting everyone down. What better way to not let anyone down? Make them leave so you don't have anyone to. I'm sorry- but sometimes that's our mentality. We don't want to hurt you- we just want you to understand.

8. Just telling me that "you're there" is enough.

You don't have to come over with a bucket of ice cream every day to make me feel better. Simply, by just knowing that you're available to talk to whenever I want to talk is more than enough.Those words soothe me, and it makes me feel important and cared about. Just knowing that you don't have to talk about it in the moment, but whenever you're ready someone will be there is so comforting. Thank you.

9. It's ok to be happy even if I'm not.

You mean the world to me. Just seeing you happy and thriving makes me happier. You're allowed to tell me about my day- you're allowed to tell me that you're happy today. It actually gives me something to smile about. Just because I've had a horrible day doesn't mean you have to. The world will keep spinning, even if sometimes I don't want it to. It makes it all worth it to see you smile.

10. I'm not choosing to be depressed.

I believe that depression is an illness. Several individuals take medication for it. It swallows you- and can eat you alive. It's fatal. But knowing that someone understands makes it bearable. I don't want to be sad. I don't want my bed to be my happy place- I want to go out. I would never want to live this way. I want to be happy- it's my goal. I just want that gold medal.

I don't need you to save me, but please be patient while I try and save myself, I'll be back...I promise.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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