Scranton, Pennsylvania, though relatively small in comparison to the many destinations its students come from, is a city spattered with a culture and a way of doing things all its own. Since the Class of 2021's first day of classes is quickly approaching, I thought I'd share a few things with my future classmates about their new home away from home.
1. We don't do potholes. We do craters.
Be careful where you swerve: that "tiny" rut will take your tire off. Need more proof? There's a state park in the great borough of Archbald dedicated to the main factor behind Penndot's job security.
2. We take our pizza seriously ...
Northeastern Pennsylvania is the pizza capital of the world, and if you disagree, Papa's and Granteed's will change your mind.
3. ... and our coffee.
Dunkin and Starbucks are great, but the Electric City likes to keep it local. Northern Lights and Adezzo are local must-stops where you can have your chai and drink it, too.
4. We have the most entertaining (craziest) newscasters in the country.
You still won't know the weather, but your knowledge base of useless science trivia will grow with the WHAM Cam. You'll also find yourself (like the rest of the country) shocked over viewers' obsessions with the infamous "train".
5. Everyone is Irish once a year ...
Our St. Patrick's Day parade will knock your socks off. We aren't sixth in the country for nothing. Save the date: Saturday, March 10th.
6. ... and Italian, too!
La Festa Italiana: the blissful weekend when Courthouse Square smells like my grandmother's kitchen and calories temporarily cease to exist (or I cease to care ... whichever).
7. The "t" is silent.
There's an accent that we will live and die by. It doesn't always make sense, and almost no one is in agreement as to its formal rules, but just go with it. "Scranton" is "Scran-on," "Throop" is "Troop" and don't get me started on "Wilkes-Barre" and the 20 (incorrect) ways to pronounce it.
8. Construction is eternal.
It was here before you and me, and it will be here after you and I shuffle on to the adult world. I can't remember what the Central Scranton Expressway looked like without the orange cones, and I can't imagine it without them.
9. The "Scranton Welcomes You" sign ...
...is not where you think it is. It's actually inside the Steamtown Mall. Don't walk around town looking for it, or I can guarantee that you will be disappointed. Speaking of that ...
10. Not all of us have seen The Office.
But don't ask me, I'll deny everything.