This was your first relationship, so you will inevitably learn the most from it. Here are 10 things that you learn from your first true relationship:

1. It’s possible to be comfortable with another’s presence... too comfortable even.

At one point, you remember how you thought you could never feel comfortable with the things you know you hid. After your first relationship, you’ll realize that it can happen all along, and it wasn’t that bad!

2. How to be more understanding.

People have flaws, and you have to be willing to accept them in order for a relationship to work. It’s essential to know that things will move on, but only if you let them. You’ll learn that trying to accept their past is one of the hardest but most rewarding things you can do for love.

3. Loving them for who they are.

Needless to say, changing them is not the best part of the relationship. You need to decide if you can accept and live with it happily, or if you’re better off knowing it’s not going to be in your life. Love them for who they are because they are unique, and no one likes to be told to be a different person.

4. How to fight about anything but always apologize and discuss issues.

No one likes to realize that you’re arguing all the time over needless matters. If you both don’t come out of the argument with apologies and reassurance, it’s only normal for you to feel unstable with the relationship. It is a good thing that the relationship ended if two people are constantly unhappy.

5. Feeling afraid of the future. Will anyone love you? Will you find anyone better?

The answer is yes. Even if it’s the same person, give it time. Time heals all wounds, and if it was meant to be, it would happen only with time. That being said, you must understand that this was your first relationship. You will have more people out there ready to love you, possibly even more. Be assured that the odds are in your favor.

6. Feeling lonely or having anxiety.

This is the hardest part. When you constantly miss the familiarity and comfort of your ex-partner. You’ve worked on it for a while, so of course, it’s saddening. However, find comfort within yourself and your friends or family. Most importantly yourself, because you could have just lost who you are from it. When you are anxious, find comfort from people you love and trust. It’s hard but it will get better the more time passes and the more you strive to better yourself.

7. Feeling lost.

If you feel lost, you have to find your way back to being yourself again. You might not even remember or know what you were like before, but this is normal. You just need this breakup to show you how much you need to work on yourself. Remember to do things that make you feel productive and positive. Avoid negative behaviors that tempt you, because you are only lowering your own chances of proper and healthy recovery. Sometimes you need to just be in a relationship with yourself.

8. You will feel conflicted but also hopeful for the future.

Doubts about the breakup and the relationship will evade your mind, but understand that you are overthinking. Be at peace, because if it were meant to be, it would happen. Don’t ever force love. There will also be times when you are so hopeful of the get-together. Forget about it as much as possible, and think that you won’t until life gives it to you freely. Love should never feel pressured because of regret.

9. Knowing the qualities you like and dislike in your partner.

Maybe there are certain habits you love to see in your significant other. Think of your first relationship as the start to your examples of qualities you do or do not want your partner/spouse to embody.

10. Getting through this alive.

It is one of the hardest things to do, and likely, you will have a soft spot for your first love. However, there will be a day when you won’t think about them. You can tell your story and it won’t make you cry because you’ve healed. I like to say that the past is a place of reference, not a place of residence, so don’t regret. Just learn. You will be happy again by yourself and maybe with someone who loves you just as much as you love them.

Don’t let the person who didn’t love you keep you from the one who will. Once you realize you deserve better, letting go will be the best decision ever. Being happy is a very personal thing, and it really has nothing to do with anyone else.