10 Snacks That Should Be Classified As Schedule 1 Narcotics
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Health and Wellness

10 Snacks That Should Be Classified As Schedule 1 Narcotics

They're THAT addicting

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10 Snacks That Should Be Classified As Schedule 1 Narcotics

Chips (and Salsa)

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I know this is extremely broad but I think we can all agree that chips are insanely addictive. At any party, you can find me like a statue next to the chips and dip. And, I'm sure we've all been to a Mexican restaurant and experienced the unavoidable regret of eating three servings of chips and salsa as soon as our meals arrive. No matter what, we cannot seem to put them down until they've all gone down, into our stomach, that is. Furthermore, basically any chip withstands this test, even if you're one of those freaks (like my sister) who loves the battery acid flavor of Salt & Vinegar or you think Nacho Cheese Doritos are the superior Doritos, when we all know it's Cool Ranch.

M&M's

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With it's large variety, M&M's are such an easy snack to house in one sitting. Whether it's Peanut, Regular, or newer varieties like the Pretzel or Hazelnut Spread ones, they're all equally addicting and extremely difficult to walk away from.

Goldfish

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Coming in such a distinct variety of colors, flavors, and sizes (I'm looking at you, Baby Goldfish), this wonderful children's snack was MADE for this list. We eat them by the handful and handful until there are no more hands full.

Oreo's

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There's nothing I love more than doing a couple of lines. That is, lines of Oreo's. I don't think these have ever lasted more than three days in my house. It's impossible to not continuously go back for "one more," until you rip back the packaging and see only one more of those beautiful sandwich cookies that you, and milk, love so much.

Cheez-It's

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My love for them extends far beyond their silly commercials. These cheddar cracker snacks are essential on any road trip but I doubt they'll make it to the destination along with you because they're so good, you will inevitably finish them in the car.

Popcorn

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Popcorn is rarely, if ever, a personal snack-of-choice. However, if you were to put an entire bucket of movie theater buttered popcorn in front of me, I'd allow for about 10 minutes until it was gone completely. There's something about it that draws me back for another fistful to shove into my dumb face, even as I say "I don't really like popcorn." Schedule 1 for sure.

Cheese Puff Balls

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I'll never forget the summer after graduating high school, sitting in one of my best friends bedrooms, watching The Fast and The Furious for the first time as we passed around that huge jug of cheese balls until it was empty. I couldn't ask for it to be passed back fast enough. They're so simple and sold in such bulk that they're perfectly conducive to this list.

Buc-ee's Beaver Nuggets

These are basically corn puffs (think Cheeto Puffs or Pirate's Booty) covered in caramel popcorn coating, courtesy of the best gas station in Texas. They're so sweet and delicious and they're conveniently sold in non-resealable bags to provide you with an even stronger opportunity to devour them in a single sitting. I finished a bag about a week ago and I still think about them every day.

Quadratini

These are bite-sized Italian wafer snacks. You can get them at World Market or a similar store. But I'm warning you, if you like sweet snacks as much as me, you'll finish well over half the bag before you get home. They come in a variety of flavors like Hazelnut, Chocolate, or Vanilla and they're delicious. Or as the Italian's would say, sono deliziosi.

Chips Ahoy! Chocolate Chip Cookies

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Just like Oreo's, I simply cannot stop myself from walking back to the panty repeatedly for another stack of these cookies. Whether you're dunking them in milk or eating them straight up, they're impossible to resist, which means they're usually gone in two days flat.

Writer's Note: Schedule 1 narcotics vary from Schedules 2-5 in that they're not considered to be of any sufficient medical use while remaining highly addictive whereas Schedule 2-5 narcotics are used medicinally and are then ranked from most addictive to least. Scheduling of drugs is handled by the DEA and should be taken seriously by the users of narcotics within their respective class. That being said, this article is a silly little idea I had. If you or a loved one has a problem with drug abuse, please contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Services Administration National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357). These were listed in no particular order.

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