10 Signs You're Pouring From An Empty Cup

10 Signs You're Pouring From An Empty Cup

Recognizing that we need a little more self-love in our lives.

1. People ask you who/what you love, and yourself isn't one of the answers

Your friends, your classes, your career, your family...the list can go on and on before you get to yourself. but being able to say that you love yourself is just as important as knowing that you love yourself. Without first recognizing the beauty and love in ourselves, we cannot possibly spread that love with those around us. We are only as strong as what comes from within.

2. You have trouble saying "no" to people, even when you know you're being stretched too thin

There's nothing wrong with helping the people you care about, but when that generosity starts to have a negative impact on your self care something needs to change. Being able to say no to people shows that we care enough about ourselves to put our needs first.

3. Your day is full..but you don’t know why you’re doing what you’re doing

There's nothing wrong with having a full schedule, but you should know the intentions behind your actions. We should spend our time focused on the things and people that matter to us and make us a better person. If you can't put your whole heart into something, there is no shame in stepping away and it is probably time to move on. By weeding out what is unimportant, we'll become more genuine and balanced individuals.

4. Taking care of yourself doesn’t feel like a priority

If taking care of your body and mind is at the very bottom of your 'To Do List', it is time for an adjustment. Every single thing that is on that list before yourself takes the strength of your body and mind to complete it. By putting off self care we are jeopardizing how much effort we can put into the other things on that list. Take the necessary 'To Do List' time to go to the gym, eat healthily and reflect on your day.

5. You hate being alone

When your day is so busy that you don't have any free time, you become out of touch with how you're feeling. Being truly alone and reflecting is important to our mental health and constantly feeling like you need to be doing something keeps us from that. Feeling uncomfortable being alone is never a good thing and by taking time for ourselves, we might begin to understand why we dislike being alone and seek the help we need if necessary.

6. Your failures feel huge… but your successes feel small

How are you supposed to build other people up if you're always tearing ourselves down? If you want to give your best to the world, you have to recognize and appreciate the good things that you are capable of. Focusing solely on the negative will only bring you down.

7. Your best doesn't feel good enough

Because you've spent your time focusing on your failures and shortcomings, when you do something right it doesn't feel like enough. You constantly compare yourself to others and always feel like you come up short. When you do something right but think you could've done better, positively reinforce yourself that you can get there instead of making yourself feel bad.

8. All criticism does is tear you down

Criticism can be a positive thing to help you improve yourself and do better next time, but when we take it as a negative thing it causes problems. By understanding that some criticism is constructive we can take on a more positive self image.

9.Your life looks really great on paper but doesn't feel fulfilling

If you're doing all of the "right" things but you still don't feel satisfied at the end of the day something needs to change! Find things that you can get behind with your whole heart and that bring a smile to your face. Focus less on what looks good on paper and more on what feels right.

10. You don’t want anyone to know you’re struggling because you don’t want to burden them

Dumping your problems on other people is never a good feeling but sometimes it is necessary. Keeping your negativity bottled up is counterproductive and harmful to your state of mind. While it can be tempting, I would challenge you to speak out about your problems to the people who you care about and who care about you. At the end of the day, if someone cares about you, they'll want to listen and help however they can.

I have personally felt each of these things in my life and know the negative impact that they can have on our perceptions of self worth. Sometimes changing your life is a matter of mindset and breaking habits, but sometimes it is more serious. Reaching out for professional help is not something that should be shameful or embarrassing. Do not hesitate to reach out, friends.

Cover Image Credit: awakeningclaritynow.com

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To The Boy Who Will Love Me Next

If you can't understand these few things, leave before things get too involved

To the boy that will love me next, I need you to know and understand things about me and my past. The things I have been though not only have shaped the person I’ve become, but also sometimes controls my life. In the past I’ve been used, abused, and taken for granted, and I want something real this time. The guys before you were just boys; they didn’t know how to treat me until it was too late. They didn’t understand how to love me, until I broke my own heart. Before you truly decide to love me I want you to understand these things.

When I tell you something, please listen.

I’m my own person, I want to be loved a certain way. If I ask you to come over and watch movies with me please do it, if I ask for you to leave me alone for a few hours because it’s a girl’s night please do it. I don’t just say things to hear my own voice, I say things to you because it’s important to my life and the way I want to be loved. I’m not a needy person when it comes to being loved and cared for, but I do ask for you to do the small things that I am say.

Forgive my past.

My past is not a pretty brick road, it is a highway that has a bunch of potholes and cracks in it. I have a lot of baggage, and most of it you won’t understand. But don’t let my past decided whether you want to love me or not. My past has helped form who I am today, but it does not define who I am. My past experiences might try and make an appearance every once in a while, but I will not go back to that person I once was, I will not return to all that hurt I once went though. When I say those things, I’m telling the complete and honest truth. I relive my past every day, somethings haunt me and somethings are good reminds. But for you to love me, I need you to accept my past, present and future.

I’m just another bro to the other guys.

I have always hung out with boys, I don’t fit in with the girl groups. I have 10 close girlfriends, but the majority of my friends are guy, but don’t let this scare you. If I wanted to be with one of my guy friends I would already be with him, and if you haven’t noticed I don’t want them because I’m with you. I will not lose my friendships with all my guy friends to be able to stay with you. I will not cut off ties because you don’t like my guy friends. I have lost too many buddies because of my ex-boyfriends and I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again. If you don’t like how many guy friends I have you can leave now. Don’t bother trying to date me if you can accept the fact I’m just another bro.

I might be a badass, but I actually have a big heart.

To a lot of people I come off to be a very crazy and wild girl. I will agree I can be crazy and wild, but I’m more than that. I’m independent, caring, responsible, understanding, forgiving, and so such more type of woman. Many people think that I’m a badass because I don’t take any negatively from anyone. Just like we learned when we were younger, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Most people can’t do that in today’s world, so I stick up for myself and my friends. I don’t care what anyone thinks about me, or their option on how I live my life. The only thing I care about is being able to make myself happy. Even though I’m an independent woman, understand that I do have a big heart. Honesty when I truly care for someone I will do just about anything they ask, but don’t take advantage of this. Once you take advantage of this part of me, all respect will be lost for you.

I’m hard to love.

Sometimes I want to be cuddle and get attention, and sometimes I don’t want you to talk to me for a couple hours. Sometimes I want you to take me out for a nice meal, but sometimes I want a home cooked meal. Every day is different for me, sometimes I change my mind every hour. My mood swings are terrible on certain days, and on those days you should probably just ignore me. I’m not easy to love, so you’ll either be willing to find a way to love me, or you’ll walk out like so many others have.

I’m scared.

I’m scared to love someone again. I’ve been hurt, heartbroken, and beat to the ground in my past relationships. I want to believe you are different, I want to hope things will truly work out, but every relationship has always ended up the same way. I’m scared to trust someone, put my whole heart into them, just to be left and heartbroken again. I sick and tired of putting my whole body and soul into someone for them to just leave when it is convenient for them. If you want to love me, understand it won’t be easy for me to love you back.

When “I’m done.”

When I say “I’m done” I honestly don’t mean that I’m done. When I say that it means I need and want you to fight for me, show me why you want to be with me. I need you to prove that I’m worth it and there’s no one else but me. If I was truly done, I would just walk away, and not come back. So if I ever tell you, “I’m done,” tell me all the reasons why I’m truly not done.

For the boy who will love me next, the work is cut out for you, you just have to be willing to do it. I’m not like other girls, I am my own person, and I will need to be treated as such. For the boy that will love me next, don’t bother with me unless you really want to be with me. I don’t have time to waste on you if you aren’t going to try and make something out of us. To the boy who will love me next, the last thing I would like to say is good luck, I have faith in you.

Cover Image Credit: Danielle Balint

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Looking Back At My Past

When I moved out of my dad's house at 18, I learned several life lessons the hard way. It was an uphill battle to figure out "adulting." I hope this will give some people the ability to learn certain things without going down the hard path.


Life has a way of teaching lessons when you are overwhelmed. The more you are exposed to, the easier it is to learn these lessons. This article goes into what I wish I knew when I first got onto my own. There were many struggles, hardships and tough times you go through when you start your walk of life alone. But with it comes victories, and the knowledge of being able to get through anything. I hope when people read this article they will see what I put as a priority to learn when you become independent.

1. Money!

Learn how to budget! Learn how you're bank works, learn about taxes. Yes these seem like boring subjects, but money, or the lack thereof, can and will make your life miserable. This is something that many adults have trouble with, and it will put stress onto you. Just taking an afternoon to learn about what you need to do for your money needs will reduce stress.

2. Make at least one friend at the place you live.

The first apartment complex I lived at, I met a (I think) 45-50 year old man. I will not actually say his name but for this purpose his name is "Tim". Tim had lived in that complex for about 20 years, and he knew the staff and the residents. If I needed help or someone to talk to. He was more of a father figure than a creepy old guy. I was new to the town, living by myself, in the middle ground between a couple of in-town gangs. I needed all the help I could get, and when you have a connection it helps.

3. Know the differences between needs and wants.

Figure out your needs: food, rent, utilities. This type of thing ties into money and time. Do not invest too much time in people that are not good for you. Invest your time in your interests, hobbies, things that make you content. When you put your time in someone who at the end isn't worth it, it will occupy your mind months after they are gone.

4. Stay in contact with your family. 

My family is pretty distant to each other. We could probably go a year without talking and it wouldn't bug me. My mom and I have gotten close recently. Generally the 'after high school' years. My mom has helped me through hard times, she has leaded me an ear, or some tough advice. Yes we've had our hard times, but there are many things that I have learned from her. I understand that once you get out on your own, it is easy to stop talking to them; especially if you had a rough time growing up. A story for another time, but if you can stay in contact even if it's as little as a text from now and then. Family is something that is hard to replace once they are gone.

5. The way life teaches lessons. 

Life will teach lessons easy at first, then they will get harder to learn as we get older. An example of this is keeping your room clean as a child, then when you have an apartment. There is more cleaning to do. If you add kids and a house to that, it's even harder. My mom has an odd way of explaining this lesson. "It's like getting hit with a 2x4." The lesson first hits you, and it's small like a golf ball. Then the baseball hits you if you didn't learn before. Before you know it you get hit by a 2x4 and the lesson will hurt in someway. So please learn it before you get hit with a 2x4.

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