In life, we all come across a handful of people that we believe to be the best thing to ever happen to us. They take us in with open arms, make us feel special, have us forget about the world around us... but what we don't realize, is how blind they make us to their actions and how we begin to make excuses for what they're doing. It's almost as if we're dancing with the devil. Sure it's a fun, tempting and exhilarating dance, but once we realize who we're dancing with, we begin to take a step back from this person.
Trying to weed out who is a toxic person and who is not, can be extremely tricky, but I'm here to give you some tips to help figure this out for yourself. Whether it'd be a friend, a family member, boyfriend/girlfriend, whoever it might be, these signs might come in handy when trying to figure out who is bringing toxicity into your life.
1. They're always right
....and when I mean that they're always right, they're literally always right. You can be talking to this person about what color the sky is and you can say the sky is blue, yet they believe it to be pink.They will argue with you tooth and nail until you give in and agree with them. You can never be right, even when you are. No matter what the situation may be, they can never admit to being wrong, because their ego is so ginormous that it has taken over their authentic self.
The ego of a person can determine a lot of how someone is, and when one is able to diminish it to a certain point, they are able to let go of things and admit to their mistakes, but a person who believes they're always right, has an ego so big that it dictates everything they do.
2. They make you question yourself...a little too much
There's nothing wrong with questioning who you are, because we all do it. BUT this person has you feeling waaaay too unsure about yourself. They put you down, tell you that you are lost, make you feel like you don't serve a purpose in life, they try to bring you down when you're at your highest.
Whenever you accomplish something great and confide in this person about it, they play it off like it's no big deal and sort of shit on your life in a snarky kind of way. They make you feel belittled about your accomplishments, even if it's something small...and then you begin to question yourself. You truly start to feel that you are just nothingness walking aimlessly through life.
3. Only their emotions matter, you don't matter at all
"You have no real problems", "Others have it worse than you", "You have no right to feel depressed over nothing"...I'm sure some of you have heard something like this from a person you think highly of. NEWS FLASH: people have every damn right to feel how they feel, we are emotional beings, we were given a dynamic set of emotions as humans and sometimes our bodies need to let out certain energy that can be damaging to our health.
This person will make you feel utterly stupid for feeling any kind of negative emotion, and will verbally attack you for feeling upset for no reason...yet it's always okay for them to feel randomly upset over nothing. This person can feel any way they want and you always show sympathy and compassion towards them, you never bash them for feeling anything, but the moment you feel an ounce of sadness, they jump down your throat and basically tell you that your emotions do not matter at all and never will.
4. They make you feel like you're walking on eggshells
It's as if this person had a field day with throwing thousands of eggs all around them and you find yourself trying to gently walk on them to reach this person. (I'm sorry for the corniness, but it's the only comparison that seemed fitting). Whether it'd be the things you say or how you act, you feel that if you act a certain way or say a certain thing, it'll make them fly off the handle and begin to verbally/emotionally/mentally or even sometimes physically attack you. You shouldn't have to hide your true self from this person and be fearful of how they might react to you just doing you.
I don't even have to fully elaborate on this, because your heart just sank a little and you rolled your eyes upon reading this point, for you know for a fact that this person flat out sucks when it comes to communication. Whether it'd be texting or having in person contact, this person seems to just always go ghost on you. Now, I'm not saying you must speak to this person 24/7 and see them 24/7 (that also can be toxic with any person) but if they can go hours or even days without speaking to you or even weeks without seeing you, then you clearly aren't shit to them, I'm sorry but it's the truth.
You know for a fact they're manipulating you and your emotions and trust me, they are fully aware that they are manipulating you. It's almost as if you become a puppet. Whether they manipulate you into sexual favors, doing things you don't want to do, becoming their personal servant, they begin to see how much control they have over you... and that my friends, is something no one should ever do to anybody else. You and only you have control over yourself.
7. "You mean so much to me"
LOL right... and I'm sure everyone else this person says that to also means "so much" to them. This also falls under manipulation, because it is messing with your emotions, but let me break it down for you: If this person says "meaningful" things to you, and their actions aren't backing it up...then this person does not value you whatsoever. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS. Who cares if this person is saying everything you *want* to hear, it doesn't matter. Words have little to no meaning when they aren't backed up with actions. If this person is talking the talk, but they're not walking the walk, give them the boot.
8. I am heaven sent... don't you dare forget
(For those that listen to Brand New, I really hope you caught my lyrical reference). This point basically screams it all. This person walks around as if they're God's gift sent to the world to save humanity. They act as if their some Jesus type of figure. Sure, they seem heavenly on the outside, but once you dive underneath their surface, you subject yourself to their negative and dark demeanor.
Face it, you know this person believes themselves to be the greatest thing of all time, and they sure as hell will preach it and how much knowledge they have, but a wise man or woman once said: "That man is wise who talks little" -Unknown. If this person has to remind you how wise and great they are, just know they're not, because they constantly say things and like I said before, they never back it up with actions.
9. You begin to neglect yourself
I cannot stress this enough. Your well being is so important for your health and how your life will turn out. This person, in a way, distracts you from who you truly are. They begin to take away from you, rather than add to you. You feel yourself to fluctuate from extreme highs to extreme lows, all because this person is a whirlwind of disaster. You become on edge, irritable, snapping at everyone and anything.
You feel drained, unmotivated and lacking to see the colorful world you once saw. You ultimately begin to neglect yourself, rather than nurturing yourself.This is because this person is bringing you down to their level, and sometimes even below their level. Misery loves company, and those that are miserable, will drag you down with them. Screw being happy, this person hates how you view the world with a positive outlook, they feel the need to drag you down with them and ultimately disrupt your well being.
10. You have become a toxic person as well
Simple as that. All this time of dealing with this person, has brought you down so much, that you don't even realize you have entered into a cycle. You have become just as toxic as this person, and you begin to infect the lives of those around you, thus, creating more toxic people. Everyone needs to realize how susceptible we are to each other's energy and how certain energy can be transmitted. Scary isn't it.
It's like you have to wear a condom around yourself 24/7 to avoid TNE (Transmitted Negative Energy... yes I just came up with that). What you need to realize is that it's not too late. You can rid yourself of this cycle, of this toxicity, but it all starts with removing this person from your life. It may or may not be hard to do, but just start with deleting their number, don't give them the time of day if you see them in person, and just simply go about your life in a positive way.
If you were thinking of a certain person this entire time of reading this, or even applying it to yourself, then it's possibly a time for a change. We all fall victim to toxic people and we even fall victim to being the toxic person. Everyone is a victim in this cycle of toxicity, but it's never too late to turn your life around for the better. Getting rid of the toxic people in your life and even ridding yourself of this toxic energy, will have you feeling so much lighter and that you are able to breathe again.
People are sure some of the strangest things, but it's so important to be around those who give off good energy, rather than being around those who throw negative energy your way. I'm trying not to sound all hippy-dippy with this peace love and happiness stuff, but it does make sense in a way. Toxic people can destroy you, and being a toxic person can destroy others. Hopefully these 10 signs were able to open your eyes a little. Rid yourself of toxic people and you will open the door to a more positive outlook on life.