If you are in your early stages of college, chances are you're excited about finding opportunities to maximize your experience. You're looking forward to making new friends, bonding with your roommates, joining a fraternity/sorority/campus organization, getting a job at school, or enjoying weekends out with the girl/at some fun parties, and that's all great. You do you.
But, chances are, if you are a girl who has joined a sorority, there are people out there who are willing to say whatever they want about you with no filter. If you are one of those people who decides to say what you want about sorority girls without a filter, you should stop.
Specifically, here are some remarks you should stop making about them.
1. "Sorority girls don't take academics seriously."
Um, think again! Being in a sorority requires you to have good academic standing. So if you are a part of one and have continued to be, that's because you've been doing what you need to do to remain an active member.
Instead, say: "Sorority girls take academics as seriously as anybody who attends college."
2. "All they do is party."
No, that is NOT all they do. Each sorority has its own philanthropy, which can be described as a service project or act of service for a particular subject. As a few examples, Alpha Phi does their philanthropy with a focus on heart health through an event known as The Red Dress Gala, Zeta Tau Alpha focuses on breast cancer awareness, and Kappa Delta has a service project towards child abuse prevention, where one of the chapters put on an event last month, Mac and Cheese with the KayDees. They care about the community and those who are less fortunate, so if you contend that sorority girls just party, you're making an incorrect statement.
Instead, say: "Sorority girls do more than you think they do; they do community service and are leaders or their community."
3. "Sorority girls are promiscuous."
Seriously, NO!
Sororities are about friendship, love, service, and accountability. They don't use promiscuity to promote their organization. Do sororities have physically beautiful girls? Yes. But their selling point is about their culture of friendship, love, service, and accountability.
Instead, say: "Sorority girls have positive intentions for those whom they interact with and look to build bonds with those they serve."
4. "Sorority girls are dramatic."
You can't assume that about them unless you really know them well. And even then it's still unacceptable to say that. You need to know that sorority girls are students, first and foremost. As in 1., they need to be in good academic standing to be in their organization. Furthermore, they are expected to conduct themselves professionally. How do they get members to join them? Drama within the organization is one of the biggest turn-offs for a girl who is interested in a sorority.
Instead, say: "Sorority girls have standards to meet and they do their best to meet them."
5. "They aren't interested in you."
There are two specific meanings to this. If you say this to a girl who wants to join a particular sorority, you are destroying her self-confidence. You are destroying her college experience.
Instead, say: "Go for that sorority, because you deserve to find the one that fits best for you and where you fit best for them. This is an opportunity of a lifetime and I believe you can find the one where you belong."
Or, if you look at that in a way of dating/interest, you are saying that you feel entitled to date one of them for reason x, y, or z. But, you aren't entitled to that. Nobody is.
Instead, say: "I like that girl from [Sorority Name here], and I want to see if there can be something to come from it. But if it doesn't happen, I still can be a part of her life without acting entitled."
6. "Sorority girls need to be more open-minded."
They went into the rush process with an open mind. Typically, there are multiple sororities that a girl will like before she settles on the one she's currently in (provided she got a bid), but they go in wanting to learn more about Greek Life in general, or about a particular set of sororities. They are open to people joining in the fall (or spring, if they do open recruitment at that time).
Instead, say: "Sorority girls are open-minded people who welcome new members and welcome new challenges that present themselves."
7. "Sorority girls only care about their sororities."
As mentioned with 1. and 6., it's obvious that they care about MANY things. Their sorority is one of them, yes, but they care about their academics, friends (even boyfriends), and being a positive role model just as much.
Instead, say: "Sorority girls care about many things and you can't help but respect that about them."
8. "You're only in that sorority because you look like a model."
NO. Absolutely NOT! You are NOT required to look like a model just to join a sorority. Sorority recruitment isn't a fashion show, nor is it a beauty contest. Remember that.
Instead, say: "You got a bid to that sorority because you fit in with what the culture is about and you want to be a part of it."
9. "She's too [insert adjective here] to be a part of that sorority."
Please, just stop. Shaming is one of the last things that you should do to a sorority girl. They already compare themselves to one another a lot, and it only adds to the problem when you say anything of that nature about her, especially if it's true.
Instead, say: "That sorority has some of the most warm-hearted people." (There are other alternatives that are suitable here but it's important to know that you deserve the same respect as all of your peers, regardless of how you appear.)
10. "You only joined your sorority so you could have an easier time going to formal with that guy in [insert fraternity here] or to date that guy in [insert fraternity here]."
That shouldn't be the intention of joining a sorority, but it's not your place to judge someone for doing that. You can feel that way all you want, but they succeeded in what they wanted to do.
Instead, say: "I didn't fully agree with that as your prerogative to meet him, but I have to give you credit for accomplishing your goal."
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Sorority girls already face a lot of flack for who they are. But, it's important for you to know about how they conduct themselves. It's important to realize that sorority culture is based on friendship, love, accountability, and service, and the stereotypes that are thrown around about sorority girls carry minimal weight, if any.
Sorority girls use their culture as a recruitment platform for future members to join in, and that culture is a foundation for their continued success. In order for them to succeed in their sorority, we have to encourage them rather than tear them down.
This article is intended to change the narrative that many people have about sororities, and to change the narrative about sororities, you must change the way you talk about them.