So, like every millennial searching to find purpose in their life and also gain more Instagram followers, I have recently become the mother of an eight-week old "Goldador" (a golden and lab mix) puppy named Willa. I have affectionately nicknamed her Willa the Killa because she attempts to murder everything in sight on the reg. However, after many sleepless nights and many frustrating hours attempting to get her to just eat something, I realized that I should call up MTV real quick because I basically have become a mother to a new infant. (Before you say anything, the women on Teen Mom aren't teens anymore either). Here are just a few of the many ways having a new puppy is basically like having a baby.

1. They put everything in their mouths

This is not an exaggeration in the least. For your reference, I have compiled a list of things Willa has put in her mouth TODAY: her food, my other dog's food, several socks, a clothes hanger, a random cap covering a screw on the toilet, three blankets, my shoes, multiple chair legs, her own leg, my ear, my nose, my dad's toe, and probably poo.

2. They wake you up in the middle of the night

I have not had a good night's sleep since I brought Willa home. She's never slept alone or in a crate before, so there's a lot of whining and crying that happens. It's a good time for everyone involved and there are definitely no tears of frustration shed at all.

3. They have accidents

Sometimes, I think that Willa pees in the house just to spite me and slowly break me until I am a shell of a human.

4. You have to carry them everywhere

Willa is v v smol (that's dog language for tiny) and she can't walk long distances, or short distances really, by herself, so guess who gets a free arm workout everyday?! Also, I may or may not have bought an actual baby papoose for me to carry Willa around in hands-free.

5. They're really cute to look at

I have to allot at least ten extra minutes when I am going anywhere because people want to stop and look at Willa. She is precious, when she's not pooping in my room.

6. You nap when they nap

If Willa is awake, I am on high alert all the time, which is exhausting. So when she finally falls asleep after being a tornado of teeth and claws, I fall asleep too, or clean up her mess, take a shower, or do any other general task that doesn't involve keeping my eyes glued to a dog.

7. You can't communicate with them

Having a dog is a lot easier when they know what you are saying to them. When I first got Willa, she didn't even know her own name. She was all like "what are these weird high pitched sounds that these creeps keep yelling at me, and why should I care or listen to them?" And we were all like "DON'T PEE ON THE RUG WILLA!"

8. You have to keep them in eyesight at all times

I swear, I cannot take my eyes off this dog for one minute or who knows where she'll end up. Let's just say she's usually not doing something that I want her to do or going somewhere where I want her to go.

9. Your house becomes a mess

We have so many makeshift barricades in all of our doorways (open floor plan anyone?) that you would think we were fighting in the French Revolution. There are dog toys everywhere, treat crumbs embedded deep into the shag carpeting, and just a general air of stress and the fight or flight response lingering in the air. It's great.

10. They teach you the amazing capability humans have to love other things.

All other things aside, it really is amazing how much the human heart can expand to love another living thing (if your heart cannot do this, please visit a psychiatrist or the Whos on Christmas morn). It really makes you feel good to know that something in this world needs you and depends on you, and that you are making a difference in a life!