Kids can some of the greatest joys of all, but they are also quite a handful. There is a reason they call them the terrible two's. They say it is easier when the kids are your own, but I know plenty of parents who are excited to go back to work to get a break from parenting for a couple of hours.
So what about all those people whose job it is to "parent" your kids while you're at work? Nannies and frequent babysitters are some of the most incredible humans on the planet.
1. You know every euphemism for every bodily function
Poopy. Spit up. Toot. You name it, they know it. If you take a page out of Freud's book, this is normally the stage in which kids are very concerned with what comes out of their bodies. Not only are you dealing with these things on a daily basis, but you talk about them with the kids too. How else are you supposed to know if they need to go potty?
2. You know how to make the sturdiest blanket/pillow forts around
There is nothing like a fort to fill hours worth of fun and make the living room look like a tornado just touched down when someone knocks it down. Nannies know how to maximize the fun part of that process and make their forts to last. Use sheets instead of blankets, have a sturdy base to build off of (my personal favorite is a bunk bed), and make the ceiling higher than their heads.
3. You can drive, give one kid their bottle, give the other kid a snack, and sing a nursery rhyme all at the same time
Nannies are multitasking masters. They are the most efficient humans on the planet. Period.
4. You remember all the words to all the hottest children's songs
Most children are creatures of habit. They tend to have a few select favorite songs that they think are complete bops. Nannies can sing those songs frontward, backward, and sideways without any effort. Pro-tip: singing their favorite song is the easiest way to divert a meltdown.
5. You can recite all their favorite books from memory
They could be holding the book and you cant even see the pages, but nannies could still tell the story. Remember what I said about kids being creatures of habit? Nannies have read that book hundreds of times, and there is no way they wouldn't end up knowing all the books by heart.
6. You can decipher even the most ambiguous attempts at words
If you could list "toddler-ese" as a second language, then all nannies would be multilingual. They are experts are translating kids attempts at communicating and knowing exactly what they want. They are the only ones who know that one grunt means the child wants a bottle and the same grunt in a different tone means they want to get down and play.
7. You have learned how to navigate the most complex of play places
Nannies tend to be hyper-vigilant about making sure children are safe because new parents can be hypersensitive to any scratch their child might get during play. Some nannies decide to accompany the children, and those structures are made of very small humans. Regardless if they go in or not, nannies know how to come to the rescue if a kid gets a little too ambitious with the climbing.
8. You know how to get a stain out of anything
You know all those euphemisms I said earlier. Those are guaranteed to end up on someone's clothes during your time as a nanny, and then you have the added challenge of meal-times. Stains are inevitable, but nannies know every home remedy to any kind of stain to keep their clothes looking new.
9. After a long day, you can still get your own work done
Many nannies are students or moms themselves. After a long day of making sure those kids don't hurt themselves, they are still able to get dinner on the table, their homework done, and balance their checkbook.
10. Even after a rough day, you still miss them everytime they leave and are excited everytime they come back
Nannies love what they do, and while it is not always easy, it is such a rewarding job and you love those kids with all your heart.